When The Drugs Don't Work

Hi everyone,

It's been a while since I have blogged so I hope that this finds you well and looking forward to the spring which officially started today apparently. This weekend the clocks go forward too which is always exciting.

This post is a bit personal but, hey, what's new?! As a 56 year old I have had to come to terms with the fact that my body is no longer capable of recovering quickly from any knocks it takes and it is also unable to react quite as quickly as it used to. I'm finding kneeling down quite difficult...well the getting up bit really . I have arthritis in my fingers and when it's cold my fingers and toes go white and numb and take a while to recover. Add to this the joys of the menopause and, all in all, things ain't what they used to be.

As a consequence of these ailments I decided to try HRT which was prescribed to me by my GP whom told me that my blood pressure what 'beautiful' which was brilliant because the doctors is always a place that I get anxious. Anyway, meds collected, I was eager to start what I hoped would be a positive experience and that I would generally start to feel better. I took the small white tablet and that was it. I had a look at the list of possible side effects which was very long but nothing stood out as being an issue. That was on Saturday. I took a tablet every day for 4 days and as each day went by I felt worse and worse. By the Tuesday I was worse than a bear with a sore head, had a horrible time with my daughter and her children - by which I mean I was cantankerous and rude and uncommunicative, stroppy, sulky and miserable - and I knew that something was wrong.
A look online didn't really come up with any proof that the medication could have such a dramatic effect so quickly but by the Wednesday morning I knew something had to change. I rang my doctor and told him how I was feeling - dead inside, emotionless, beyond lethargic - and he told me to stop taking the pills straight away which I did. All I could do was wait for the medicine to clear my system. I spent the rest of what was a glorious sunny day in bed feeling beyond fed up and miserable.

Well, today is Monday, I have had 6 days without the medication and I feel back to normal. I'm always a 'glass half empty rather than a glass half full' kind of gal but I am so relieved to feel like me again. I have made my apologies to the people that I was unreasonable with. I am so shocked at my attitude. So shocked that I felt it was reasonable to be a grumpy old bag. I'm equally shocked that the HRT had such an immediate effect on me.

Over the weekend I decided to try the alternative route and ordered some black cohosh, evening primrose oil capsules and some maca and I will see how things go. I am happy to try this approach even though I know that there is little proof that natural supplements work with any regularity. My order arrived today and I have started on my new regime. Time will tell.

Today has been a positive day. Lots of little things have been sorted out...the things that you keep putting off because they aren't really important but they niggle away at you anyway! We have made a few decisions about the house, my beach hut has a new floor, I'm drinking lots of water and it's stopped raining! Happy days.

Take care and stay safe.

xxxxx

When You Try Your Best But You Don't Succeed

Forgive this personal blog post. It's been a quite an emotional couple of weeks for various reasons and I am left feeling drained, upset, full of self doubt and remorse and questioning everything I feel in case it's not justifiable. I know this will pass, this feeling always does, but at the moment I can't sleep, even though I'm really tired. I fall asleep only to wake up a couple of hours later with my thoughts racing around all over the place. I'm hopeful that by getting my feelings and thoughts down 'on paper' so to speak, my head will be a little clearer and I might get some rest.

Several things have happened that I can't/won't go into but I have been left questioning  my thought processes, my actions and my parenting 'skills' or lack of them! You know the feeling....you can't do right for doing wrong or something like that. I want to help but I don't want to interfere, I want to advise but not tell people what to do, I want to tell everyone what I think and feel but don't want to upset anyone. I am full of self doubt, full of anger, full of frustration and full of concern.

I'm told that 'everything will work out', that 'everything will be ok', that I worry too much, that the issues that I see shouldn't concern me, that it's not my problem but when these things involve your family it's incredibly difficult not to want to step in and try to make things better, to ease the burden, to share concerns.

I often feel completely helpless when I see people struggling. I know that I often overstep the mark and get too involved or, conversely, don't do enough and I just can't seem to get the balance right. If I get too involved I am interfering, being judgemental and if I stay away I am perceived as not caring. The whole thing makes me feel so inadequate and misunderstood.

I thought that having children with special needs was hard work but I am learning that having a grandchild with special needs is equally tough. I thought that once your children grew up and became adults that things would be more straightforward, that relationships would be less strained but that is not proving to be the case. I assumed a lot and I realise that that was a mistake. 

Even now, when all of my children are grown up and living their own lives and making their own choices, I can still be astounded by things that I learn about them and their behaviour. They have all done wonderful things and are all capable of being fantastic and I know that is what I should remember.....that they do have good in them and that they can be kind and loving people ..... but then things happen and I am left wondering if it can possibly be all my fault? Are the mistakes that my children make really down to me as a parent? I'm not sure why I feel so responsible. Maybe that's just how it is when you are a parent and you want the best for child. 

I am aware that I am rambling on a bit here about non specific things which is probably not making for very interesting reading. As I implied at the start of this update, I am almost using this as a dumping ground for my thoughts and feelings in an effort to clear my head and get some sleep but I'm not sure if that is going to work.

All I can really do is be me and, from time to time, I'm not so sure that being 'me' is enough. 

Xxxxx

We Are Family

Yet again, I have spent about an hour typing a blog post, really got into it, gone to add photos and then the laptop goes to pot and I lose everything....including my sense of humour!

The gist of the now lost forever post was about recording things for prosperity and how much easier it is these days with videos, blogs, vlogs too! I used to keep diaries from time to time as a teenager and then later as a mother of 4 but they had very selective events and emotions written in them and were often written late at night when I was tired or worse.
My memory has always been bad and now, how I wish that I had an accurate record of when my children cut their first tooth, took their first steps, said their first words especially now that my own daughters ask me about such events as they have children of their own. At one time, I'm sure, I could have reeled off the times and dates of such events but not any more.
I like to think that I spent so much time bringing up the family of 4 children, 2 with extra needs and then one who had meningitis at 4 months old, a husband who worked away a lot and who then lost his job just weeks before our son was born that I just had too much to think about. Add to that the various part time jobs that I held down to try to help make ends meet, I think it's no surprise that I only really recall the scary medical events, the ambulance call outs and the health worries. It's not good but that's the truth.
I hope that by doing this blog, and writing about my feelings and recording various events, that my grandchildren will be able to get an idea of what their Nanny was like if they want to find out more about me after I've gone or when I am no longer able to tell them myself. I hope that day is far away but you never know.
I may have mentioned in an earlier post ( you see, I can't remember!) that I do have recordings from a tape cassette that I had put onto a CD that contain the voices of my Mum, my Dad and my Nan among others who are no longer with us. I find it comforting when I hear them and when I heard my Nan's voice for the first time in 30 + years via the CD I was amazed to hear that she had a Hampshire accent. I had no recollection of that at all.

I will not be vlogging anytime soon.....I am no oil painting, don't do make up really and have no idea about clothing in truth... so you will be spared that trauma for now but maybe, at some point, I will post a video of me talking on here just to see how it goes but don't hold your breath for that.

I have had a little more time over the past few days and so have been cooking more than usual. I have been experimenting with recipes from The Body Coach Lean In 15 Sustain Plan book as I find his recipes easy to follow and very tasty. I have also cooked from the Lucy Bee Coconut Oil book that I have had for a year or so. Here's a few that I made earlier...

                                         Mexican supper

                                          Chocolate and banana overnight oats

Feta and bacon frittata

Raspberry with lemon sauce pudding

                                                           Banana pancake with blueberries

I'm currently cooking lasagne to take to family tomorrow along with some home cooking for the twins who recently celebrated their first birthdays. Yes, Phoebe and Sam are now over 1 year old and I can't go without sharing a few memories and photos from the day. It was pretty chaotic and I didn't take a single photo but Kirsty has said that it's ok for me to use some of the photos that she sent me.

The children had a birthday party at a soft play centre near to where they live. There was a separate area for little ones under 18 months of age and the usual activities for the older children. Kirsty had invited a lot of people and wanted to include as many of the people as possible that have been so important and so supportive over the past year or so. It was lovely that so many were able to make it.
There were children of all ages, there were grandparents, great grandparents, aunties, uncles, cousins and friends. There were sandwiches, crisps, jelly and ice cream and, of course, a cake. Sam fell asleep halfway through the party but woke in time for jelly and ice cream of course! Phoebe didn't eat any of the food but took her bottle happily and both children enjoyed lots of cuddles.
For me it was lovely to see the friends of Kirsty who came, many who now have their own children. Many of those friends used to come to our house when they were teenagers and we have known them for a long time. To see that these friendships have stayed the course was lovely to see. There was also another set of twins and a set of triplets who made the journey to join the family which was really appreciated by the family.

Uncles, auntie and princess

                                            Happy birthday!

Chief bridesmaid in waiting!

                                                        Daddy's girl

                                                   Cousins

                                         3 generations

 So, belated happy birthday to my gorgeous bubbas. Well done Mummy and Daddy for making it through the first year and still being sane! Thank you from me to everyone who has supported the family. Thanks to those that offer lifts, that cook and shop for them, that are there at the end of the phone when things are stressful and/or difficult, that are just there. You have no idea how much you have done to keep things going along so smoothly.

That's enough for now.

Thanks for taking the time and bothering to read this. I know I go on a bit!

Stay safe and be kind to each other.

xxxxxx

When Phoebe Ate Cake....😊🎉🎂

Well crikey! That was a busy week. Last weekend we had the eldest three grandchildren to stay overnight. 

Noah and Grandad doing homework😍

On Monday I had my eyebrows waxed for the very first time followed by a wonderful massage of my back and shoulders which really hit the spot. I left the salon feeling like a different woman. On Monday evening hubby went away for work and didn't return until Thursday evening so I've been dog walking a lot. On Tuesday I went to see middle daughter for a catch up. In the evening I went with youngest daughter to a taster session for the Rock Choir where we learned the harmonies for 'A Little Help From My Friends'. It was fun and really liberating to sing out loud with other people.

 On Wednesday I had the twins for the day while their parents went to work. It's always exhausting but I love my time with them.

The twins love books📚

 On Thursday I went to work as usual and hubby returned in the evening. On Friday I made a birthday cake and bought some edible cat decorations to go on it along with some pink glitter. It was far from perfect but tasted nice when we tried it today! 

Cake in progress 

I also brought myself some size 14 jeans and a t shirt which was great. Quite how I am still able to get into size 14 clothes after the rubbish I have been eating lately is beyond me to be honest but I'm very happy about it. I think it's the dog walking that is helping plus the incentive of the Fitbit which I still wear everyday....although sometimes I forget to charge it up and then it runs out midway through the day which is very frustrating.

Bella patiently waiting for another walk

Friday also saw me meeting up with a man who has agreed to do some repair work to my hut. It was a glorious day and I was very tempted to stay but I had loads to do and it was freezing! 

On Saturday hubby and I went and met up with his two brothers. We had tapas for lunch and a catch up before one of them flies off to Hong Kong for a couple of weeks on holiday and to celebrate his birthday. I'm not convinced about tapas. I'd much rather have a 'proper' meal😉 

Tapas. Just okay 😕

Today, Sunday, we met up with most of the family and had lunch to celebrate another birthday, this time it was my son's girlfriend who has her birthday tomorrow. The cake I made earlier in the week was for her. I gave the cake to the waiting staff without Georgie knowing and the cake was brought out after our main course with candles and everything! Georgie had no idea. We all sang her 'Happy Birthday' and then ate said cake. It was lovely even if I do say so myself. 

 

Georgie and her cake🎂

Phoebe and Sam were with us and they were amazingly well behaved. They sat in high chairs,there were no tears, Sam ate about half of his Daddy's food and then, amazingly, Phoebe ate some cake. This is the girl who hardly eats anything. 

This morning she ate a bowl of porridge for the first time ever and then she ate cake. It was just wonderful to see. This bodes well as it's their first birthday on Thursday and there will most certainly be cake there!

Add to that that Sam was wearing a shirt and bow tie and Phoebe was wearing a pink dress and had a bow in her hair you might be able to understand why I was so taken with them..... well, more than usual anyway😉

 We also had the drama of Trump being inaugurated on Thursday and my sadness at seeing the Obamas leaving the White House for the last time. We also received news of the passing of a man who was a big part of my hubby's life which was upsetting. He was one of those characters that you think will be around forever. He had been ill for some time but when the end comes it's quite often still a shock of sorts. Jim, you will be missed. 

So it's been busy, it's been fun and it's been heartwarming. How lovely❤ Have a great week everyone. Xxx

Has Anyone Seen My Mojo?

It's another early wake up for me.....5.15am.....quite unnecessary and unwanted as usual. I went to bed early last night as I was feeling so very tired and I feel like I slept ok but 5.15am?? Really?!?! I know this blog is about me and my life and I know it has been full of the twins and not a lot else of late but I guess that's because they have become a huge part of my life. What I haven't written about lately is me and how I'm feeling so I thought, thanks to another early start, that's what I would do.....update you about now I'M doing. Selfish I know but still...my blog, my choice😏

Part of working lunch. Mince pie and cheese and crackers not sjown😂

 Currently, I work one day a week. I feel guilty about that obviously which goes without saying. I feel that I should be working more, working harder, earning money but I just don't seem to have the energy at the moment. It may because I got so stressed in my last job that I gave up just before Christmas. Maybe I I just need to give myself permission to not be run ragged every single day. Hubby says that I fill my days up with 'stuff' and that I should be more lazy but it's not me really. There is always something to be done. I do find myself watching a bit more 'crap' TV these days. 'The Real Housewives of Beverley Hills' etc is quite often put on at 5pm when there is a bit of a lull, the dogs have been walked and it's too early for supper. It's escapism I have no doubt but when I watch it I don't think about anything else for a little while. There is no doubt that I am feeling my age at the moment and I'm not sure why. I look in the mirror and I look haggard and tired. I have black rings under my eyes and my face looks older than it ever has. I am managing to keep the weight off that I lost which is great but I don't feel any better for it really at the moment. I go to bed earlier but I don't sleep well very often. The better I sleep the more I ache in the mornings is seems. If I have slept well then my hip and back ache like mad when I get up! My diet hasn't been good of late either. The post Christmas bloat seems to be hanging around for longer than I would like. I have little energy to do anything other than get through each day sometimes although, having said that, I had a wonderfully productive day two days ago and got loads done so maybe I am just underestimating my day to day achievements. I am much better at not fretting so much about things that are out of my control. I'm not sure if that is a deliberate choice to be honest. I just don't seem to have the emotional energy to worry about absolutely everything and everyone anymore. My head sometimes feels so full of things sometimes that I can't remember the most simple of things. I find myself writing lists to remind myself what I need to do....not the usual boring stuff but the extras that I am liable to forget. I used to remember every Ines birthdays and be organised about posting cards and so on. Not anymore. Often I don't realise it's someone's birthday until the day before or even on the day and then I feel bad but I feel like I have so much to remember that something has to give! I hope that things will get back on an even keel soon. I just would like to feel more energetic. I hope that eating more healthily will be a start. I am guilty of snacking or cooking hubby a meal and not myself because I don't want what he has and I don't want to cook two separate meals. In reality, of course, I should cook what I want and if he doesn't want what I cook,he could cook his own meal but that feels really selfish to me. I want and need to feel more upbeat. I want to be a vibrant and energetic Nanny, an inspiring Mum and an attractive wife. I would like to have more energy, feel more bouncy and not feel like everything is an effort. Hopefully that is not too much to ask and I will be able to look back at this in a few months and tut at the self indulgence of this post. Have a good day everyone. It's now 6.22 am, I have drunk a bottle of fizzy water, hubby is up and about and there are dogs to be walked before I go to work. See you later, allligator! Xxxxx

The One Where Phoebe Had Her Surgery

Hi all. Another momentous event so, of course, I have to blog about it....just to clear my mind if nothing else. Yes, little princess Phoebe had her first surgery on Thursday afternoon at The Evalina Children's Hospital in London (http://www.evelinalondon.nhs.uk/Home.aspx) She had her cleft palate repaired on Thursday afternoon and was home again on late Saturday. Mummy and Daddy stayed up in London in a hotel a stone's throw from the hospital for the duration of her stay so that they could be with her and get to her quickly if they needed to. There was no accommodation available in the hospital and so the hotel was the next best option. In reality it turned out to be the best thing because at least the worried parents could get a break and a decent night's sleep. Any of you who have ever tried to sleep in a bed beside your child on a hospital ward will know that sleep proves very elusive in those conditions. You may be aware that this was the second attempt at this surgery after the earlier appointment was cancelled due to Phoebe being poorly. Again, this proved to be for the best because Phoebe has come on in leaps and bounds over the past few weeks and she was certainly much more robust on the run up to this appointment than the last. But you never quite know with young Phoebe! It was a relief to everyone when the anaesthetist said that the operation could go ahead as planned.

Phoebe the day before surgery. Happy as ever!

 I went to pick up Phoebe's twin brother Sam on Wednesday lunchtime as he was coming to stay with us for a few days. I think that was the most upsetting part of it all for Mummy....saying goodbye to her little boy. She watched me drive away from her living room window and waved until we were out of sight. It was a joy to have Sam with us. I was exhausted by the time that I took him home but to have him here, see his progress, play with him and really get to know him was wonderful. He had an off day on Friday which is most unlike him but he was in a relatively strange place without his family and sleeping in a travel cot. It must have been so unsettling for him. There is also that fact that he is a twin. There are many reports of twins who are separated feeling each others emotions and even pain so it is quite possible that he could sense that Phoebe was not feeling well and that made him feel the same. Who knows? Anyway, on Saturday he was back to his usual self...smiling, laughing and almost crawling! He also loves scrambled egg and baked beans, mashed banana and Weetabix and has a strong dislike for savoury premade foods of any kind!

Just like my Mum used to make for Kirsty when she was little - scrambled egg and baked beans. He loved it.

Clever boy Sam😊

 Having Sam with us also helped me to not focus and worry too much about Phoebe and about Kirsty. Having been in a very similar situation when my daughter had palate surgery over 30 years ago, I was reminded of the time between when your baby goes for surgery and when she gets back from recovery, the time drags,you have no idea how things are going and you watch the clock incessantly. You can't eat, you can't sleep. You don't want to leave the hospital in case something happens and they need you urgently. Things have changed so much though and Mummy and Daddy were able to get a bit of rest once Phoebe went to theatre...which wasn't until mid afternoon so you can imagine how long the morning must have seemed to them all. Phoebe was also not allowed a bottle or food from 3.30 am so she went almost 12 hours with food before surgery. However, all reports are that she was a trooper and took it all in her stride, bless her heart. Several hours later we got the call to say that she had returned from surgery and was back on the ward. All seemed to have gone well. Due to Stickler Syndrome , Phoebe has a difficult airway apparently. Basically, her airway is small and so they had to be cautious about anaesthesia especially as the surgery was taking place at the back of her throat and there would be swelling as a consequence. As expected, she returned from theatre with a tube in situ to keep her airway open in case the swelling caused problems. Of course, Phoebe being Phoebe, as soon as she felt anything like awake she was attempting to pull the tune out. She succeeded eventually and, luckily, it wasn't a problem! She also managed to pull out the cannulas that were in both feet overnight too. That's our Phoebance! The staff looking after her at the hospital described her as a 'princess' and a 'diva' which is exactly how we all refer to her. They said that she is incredibly determined and strong and will not do anything that she doesn't want to. That trait will stand her in good stead for years to come I am sure. There was a little concern when her sats dropped overnight on Friday and there was a possibility that she might have to stay in hospital for an extra night but, in the end, the decision was made for her to be allowed home and so that was that. Bags packed, medicines collected and then a train journey home which she hated every minute of by all accounts. I took Sam back home to his family on Saturday evening and the family were reunited. I swopped children with Mummy.....she cuddled her boy and I cuddled Phoebe who fell asleep on me for literally a few minutes and was then wide awake again! Holding her stirred up so many emotions in me. It was just like holding Kirsty all those years ago, feeling so grateful that she had survived the surgery, trying not to think about the next surgery or medical appointment, just cuddling her and wanting her to feel safe, secure and loved. 

Phoebe two days after surgery. Back at home with her family and in her own bed. Beautiful brave girl.

 So, that's it for now. Phoebe and Sam will soon be a year old and there is already a party organised. Phoebe needs to be kept away from crowded places and situations where she might pick up a cold or any bugs for 2 weeks, she needs to take her medicine(!) and she needs to keep feeding well. Hopefully, the next week or so will go smoothly and the family can regroup and focus on each other for a while. Thank you, from me, to all of you have have supported the family, not only over the past week, but over the past year. To everyone who has been in touch in any way - either with the family or with me - thank you so much. It means a lot to everyone involved. So it's onwards and upwards. Princess Phoebe and Super Sam are continuing their adventure. Have a good week everyone. Extra love to my sister and brother in law and to my sister in law too. xxxxx

Goodbye to 2016

Hi all, I cannot believe that Christmas and all of it's shenanigans has been and gone and we are here on the last day of 2016. I also can't believe what has happened to the font on this post. I'm not sure why the font is as it appears but hope that it will right itself at some point! 

 I hope that you all had a happy time over Christmas. We had a very quiet time which, while unusual, was actually really enjoyable. We didn't see much of our family which made me feel a little sad if I thought about it too much but I hope that next year will be different again and that chaos will reign. No doubt I will then hanker for a quieter time. The grass is always greener eh? 

 On Christmas Eve I was inspired after watching a Jamie Oliver programme and so I made a glorious panettone bread and butter pudding with chocolate and marmalade....and tons of double cream....that made my house smell like a bakery. I also tried a carrot recipe which included clementine juice which wasn't so successful and pigs in blankets in a glaze of Worcester sauce and honey which was a total triumph. We went to my daughter's house in the evening and played Articulate, drank prosecco, ate nibbles and got a taxi home at 11pm which was very sensible of us i think you'll agree. *Right, I am trying to upload photos which has never been a problem before but now when I press the upload button all I get is a series of letters and numbers so something is going on here....not only font issues but photos issues too. 

 Christmas Day was mainly spent at home lazing about and eating until we couldn't eat anymore. Boxing Day was spent at Fontwell Park for a race meeting where I backed three winners, my very favourite being a horse called Happy Diva who won by a mile at 20/1 and who I only backed because the name reminded me so much of Phoebe ....well, the diva part anyway! Then it was back to ours for chilli con carne for supper.

 In the midst of all of this there was the stream of news regarding the deaths of George Michael, Carrie Fisher and then her mother Debbie Reynolds among others. This year really has been dreadful for 'celebrity' losses and George Michael dying has to be up there with the saddest for me along with Bowie and Terry Wogan. Listening to his old pop songs and then to his more recent efforts along with watching footage of him via Youtube reminded me how wonderful his voice was. Anyone who has seen his version of 'Somebody To Love' at the Freddie Mercury Tribute concert back in the 90's will know what I mean. It was brilliant. 

Hubby and I also got to see Chas and Dave in Brighton. Not everyone's idea of a good night out I know but I absolutely loved it. I have wanted to see them for years and they did not disappoint. A great venue, a great crowd, a great singalong. Brilliant!

 Now we prepare to welcome in a new year....2017. This time last year hubby and I were in Brooklyn after spending a few days in New York. We were preparing to see Jimmy Buffett in concert. I can't believe that was a year ago. This year we will be at home with my daughter and her fiancé. We will eat, drink and be merry I have no doubt. 

 This year has really been the year of the twins, Phoebe and Sam. From the end of January when they were born until now it has been a rollercoaster for all involved. There has been fear, worry and anxiety and there has been joy, elation and happiness. From the earliest days when Phoebe wouldn't feed, developed reflux, threw up after every feed and was generally unhappy, from the twins going home, through their Mummy being so exhausted and overwhelmed that she couldn't function and we were all so very worried about her, to their Daddy stepping up and proving what a top man he is, to Sam being a total joy at pretty much every turn....smiling, happy and content and extra cuddly even now....to both of the twins now sitting up unaided (even if Phoebs does topple over sometimes!)...it's been quite an experience and I have felt privileged to have been a part of it all. 

My pride in my eldest daughter cannot be put into words. She has always been an inspiration to me...and to many others I am sure. Her determination to live her life to the best of her ability has not changed since she has become a Mummy. You just have to see her with her babies to see her love for them and their love for her. She battles every day to stay positive and focussed. I don't know how she does what she does but I love her for being herself. She still thinks of others before herself, goes the extra mile, is kind, thoughtful and considerate and the world would be a better place if there were more people like her in it. 

 Now I have embarrassed her and probably riled a few people without meaning to I shall end by saying: Happy New Year to all of my friends and family. Thank you for your love and support over this last year especially but in general. I wish you all so much happiness, good health and lots of love in your life. 

 To my Rosie and Harry....this year is going to be amazing. You're getting married!! 

To my Lou and Bruce...hope 2017 is wonderful for you 

To my Jack and Geo...we love you and hope all your dreams come true 

 To my Kirsty and Kev...you know how we feel. Proud doesn't cover it. 

To Robyn, Poppy, Noah, Marley, Phoebe and Sam...we love you all very much and will forever.

To Lynne and Mick...we hope that 2017 is a good year for you. Mick, you are an inspiration and Lynne, my little sister, you are amazing. 

 Finally, to my Russell, my husband, my biggest supporter, my rock...thank you for everything xxxx

 Happy New Year everyone. Peace and love to you all. xxxxx