Race for Life and Beach Hut Visits. Happy Days!

Hi all,

At 4  this morning I thought that I might as well get up and do something as I had been awake for a good hour or so. I had woken up, as is the norm just recently, hot, sweaty and uncomfortable. After tossing and turning, throwing the duvet off, putting it back on again and generally being a fidget arse,  I decided that I would move to the spare room. I climbed into the bed and laid there for a while in the dark listening carefully to the noises that I usually don't notice. This was in an effort to be more aware of the things around me as opposed to the feelings inside of me and something that I had been set as homework from my counselling session earlier in the day.
I listened and heard the vague sound of cars and lorries moving on the nearby dual carriageway and I could hear the birds starting their dawn chorus. I could hear my heart beating away quite calmly and I could hear the slight rumbling of snoring! This is nothing new but, because of my different surroundings, I wasn't sure where the snoring was coming from. There were 3 possibilities. Because I was in the spare room, it could be coming from the opposite bedroom (hubby), the room above me (son) or the room beneath me (dog). Yes, all three have a bit of a reputation for nocturnal nasal noises and they were all in the frame. Needless to say, it was all really irrelevant and eventually I went back to sleep after a fashion....after messaging friends holidaying in Florida and catching up on the latest showbiz gossip via the Daily Mail showbiz website and a quick look at Instagram! I think I need to invest in an old fashioned alarm clock and leave my phone downstairs when I go to bed. It has become my default setting, if I wake in the night, to 'check' my phone if I can't sleep and it really is a stupid thing to do.

It's half term and so I have had the week off which has been fabulous. Sunday saw my son's 22nd birthday although I saw little of him as I was taking part in the local Race for Life which I try to take part in every year and I like to do it in memory of my Dad.
I was being joined by one of my daughters who did it with me last year and we were determined to beat our previous time of around 40 minutes. We had not done a step of training which was foolish of us but we went to the event which was wonderfully attended as usual and which was blessed with wonderful weather, and gave it our best shot. We both finished in under 40 minutes and we both got our medals.

It was a memorable experience made better by the birthday boy turning up unexpectedly at the finishing line and cheering us on. He then went off to celebrate in his own unique style in Brighton and I decided that a trip to the hut was in order as the sun was shining and we deserved a treat and so, armed with a disposable barbecue, some burgers and marshmallows and some ginger beer, we drove to the hut and had a really lovely afternoon/evening.

It was my first ever experience of a disposable barbecue and was a great success. It was also our first barbecue at the hut. Amazingly, it was a really quiet afternoon there even though it was lovely weather and so we were able to have the barbie by the hut without disturbing anyone nearby as all of the huts were shut. I didn't want to come home I can tell you.
I have also been struggling to come up with a name for the hut as I think it deserves one. There is a hut  near ours called 7th Heaven and I know of a hut called Bliss. I was thinking maybe Paradise or Mother's Pride but neither of them have  that certain something so I'm still pondering for now. It has to be right.

Monday saw another Bank holiday and the 81st birthday of a very special lady who I have known for most of my life. This lady has had more health scares than anyone I know but she is still here and still smiling and wonderful and enjoying her recent rise to great-grandparenthood. I adore her and I'm so happy that she is still in my life. I enjoyed a cup of tea and a slice of heavenly sponge cake with her to celebrate her special day. Let's hope we share lots more celebrations together.

On Tuesday, guess what?!, I went to the hut again, this time with my daughter and my 3 grandchildren. It was the first visit for all of them and I was so happy to finally get them down there. We took a chance on the weather and it was kind to us. We spent the day making sandcastles, eating fish and chips, splashing in the sea and attempting to skim stones aka throwing stones anywhere and hope they don't hit anyone en route! All this excitement was followed by a trip to the funfair where youngest grandchild had a meltdown over an icecream and the girls went on their first log flume ride without and adult! Anxious times for their Mum but they loved it!

Tomorrow I am returning to the hut with the grandchildren and their Mum and I hope we can make lots more memories while we are there.
The hut will be the base for the Poppy Picnic that I am planning to hold on June 21st. Facebook invites have already be sent out and emails will be sent out giving details very soon. I'm really looking forward to it and if the weather is kind to us (it is the longest day of the year after all) it should be a lot of fun.

So, there we are. Another busy week full of fun and achievements and smiles and laughter. Long may this continue.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and take care until next time.

xxxxx

Social Anxiety Agonies

Hi everyone,

I hope this post finds you well and happy and ready to enjoy the bank holiday weekend whatever the weather may throw your way. It's pretty gloomy here at the moment but at least it's stopped raining so I should be able to walk the dog without having to resort to waterproofs, wellies and an umbrella!

Some of you may have read earlier posts where I mentioned that I am having a course of CBT at the moment and this post has been prompted by my last session really. Now, it will be self indulgent and about me so I hope that you won't think it too needy. I also hope that it's not too personal. I am prone to wearing my heart on my sleeve and I know that it's not everyone's cup of tea so please don't read on if you feel that it might make you uncomfortable or embarrassed - although I'm not sure why it would really.

Anyway, my CBT was originally prescribed because of my anxiety and panic issues that have been part of my life for ever it seems. My last session included filling out a quick response sheet to how I would react in various social situations such as attending parties and so on. I found myself smiling after I had seen the first question because I knew that I was going to score highly and high scores in this case means high anxiety! My heart was pounding and my hands were sweating by the time I finished the tick boxes and it only took me a minute or so to do. The end result was that my social anxiety is off the scale. Well, who knew?!?!

Actually, I think anyone that knows me will know that straight away but to actually realize that what I struggle with, and have for years, isn't 'just' shyness but a psychological condition that can go hand in hand with panic was a relief in a way. There is actually a label for how I feel. It's not 'just me'.

My panic tends to happen at times of acute stress or after a build up of unresolved stresses but the social anxiety is actually something different apparently.
My homework for this week was to sit down and come up with a list of situations that I have tried, or do try, to avoid because they make me feel incredibly uncomfortable, scared or panicky and I started to write a list when I went to bed last night.
Initially, I thought of a couple of such times - both funerals that were not funerals of family members but of friends or colleagues- where I felt that I ought to go to pay my respects but when it came to it I went into the service through one door and exited through another almost immediately because the sense of dread and panic was overwhelming and I didn't want to make a fool of myself by getting hysterical. After those two incidences, I made it my policy to always stand at the back of any funeral service so that I could get out quickly if I needed to.
Just typing that makes me feel stressed and a bit pathetic.

Then my list started to grow as I came up with more and more situations that I would rather avoid than face. The list goes something like this:

1. Leaving a Frank Turner concert after getting some very distressing news....and I LOVE Frank Turner...because I was scared. My heart was racing and I felt sick and panic-stricken. I spent most of my time in the loo trying to calm down and even considered taking myself to the St. John's crew that were on standby.
2. Leaving my Mum to deal with my daughter after she had a choking episode and had to be taken to hospital. I was too scared to go and see her after the drama was over and my Mum had to stay because I couldn't.
3. Avoiding taking any of my children to hospital for anything other than routine appointments. Any emergency admissions or surgeries filled me with dread. I would also avoid visiting them in case something happened to them while I was there.
4.As a secondary school pupil, having a dreaded fear of daily whole school assemblies because somebody near me might faint or be sick. I actually got myself in such a state on several occasions that I would leave the assembly half way through because I thought I was going to be ill.
5.When I started primary school, when I was 5 years old, I used to run out of the school and run home - our house was 5 minutes away and no roads to cross! I'd sit on the backdoor step until Mum found me and then she would take me back to school. I'm not sure how that problem was resolved!
6.When we have family get togethers or parties at our house I will always be in the kitchen keeping busy or tidying up, desperately trying to avoid interaction in case I make a fool of myself.
7. When my son got very drunk and had to be collected from town I couldn't go and get him. Hubby went and dealt with it all while I sat on my bed with my fingers in my ears  humming loudly so that I couldn't hear what was going on.
8.Even now, if I go to the cinema or theatre, I always have a seat at the end of a row if at all possible so that I have an easy escape route. Sitting next to someone that I don't know makes me feel extremely self conscious and uncomfortable.
9. I have been sat in my car at a set of traffic lights in town and panicked so much that I have been on the verge of getting out of my car and leaving it there. That was a very scary episode. Quite how I managed to stay in the car and then drive home is a complete mystery.
10. I once had to walk the dog and wasn't having a very good time and I remember putting him on the lead, bracing myself to take him out, getting to the end of the road and then feeling so scared that I ran home and went to bed.
11. I once left work mid-morning when I suddenly felt that I couldn't stay there anymore. I just walked out of my office and drove home without a word to anyone and I worked in a school with children! I later emailed school form the safety of my bed and told them what I had done.
12. When both my mother in law and my ex mother in law suffered nasty falls I went with hubby to sort them out but couldn't stay with them and waited outside for the ambulance to arrive on each occasion instead of comforting them.
13.When my Dad was terminally ill and I visited him in hospital and he had taken a very bad turn for the worse I was so terrified at what was going on that I couldn't make myself stay there and I ran out of the hospital and drove to my Mum. I regret that to this day.
14. Similarly, when Mum was in the last stages of her illness I found it so difficult to stay with her. In the end I would make myself stay for 5 minutes and then I would always have a reason to leave.

It's quite a list, isn't it? And when I read it I feel ashamed. I have no idea why I am like I am. I know that I am better than I was but if a stressful situation arose would I revert to type and just run away from the situation? I really don't know. There are times when I can't run away, I can't avoid the panic and fear and I always get through them but I hate how it makes me feel.
I doubt myself in every situation. I feel embarrassed and uncomfortable with everything about myself if I'm honest and yet I know I'm a nice person, a good person. I just feel like a freak!

So, there you are. That's me and my issues out in the open. Let's hope that the therapy helps!!!

Happy days!

xxxxx

Parenthood Ponderings

Mum, Mumma, Mummy, Ma, Mother, Madre....

I answer to all of the above and more when it comes to my children. I always have and I always will. I know it's an often repeated phrase but being a parent is my single greatest achievement.It was all I ever really wanted when I was young and I have not doubt whatsoever that I would have had more children if circumstances had been different.
There is nothing like holding your own baby in your arms, feeling that fluffy baby hair and that beautiful soft skin. Oh, how I love that baby smell. There's nothing quite like it in my opinion.
I used to adore being pregnant and, although I used to put on heaps of weight, I always felt really well, never had any sickness and generally felt fantastic.
After each of my four babies I just felt euphoric, whatever the dramatic circumstances or otherwise. I had had a baby, my baby and I was elated.
Of course, the reality is that life is never the same afterwards and, despite the love you feel for your baby, there is tiredness, exhaustion, often physical healing to take place not to mention any psychological scarring that may need attention too.
In my own experience, there was plenty of advice for new parents and it was offered by friends, neighbours, magazines, books, television programmes and the like. Of course, there was no internet back then so no mumsnet or anywhere to go to for reassurance or to share experiences.
However, when your baby was not 'normal' or was damaged in some way then the advice and support was much harder to come by. People would cross the road to avoid having to speak to you or would actively seek you out just to have a look in your pram to see for themselves if what they had heard was true.
Mother and baby groups were great for meeting other new mums but I wasn't able to compare my own baby's milestones to that of other babies because they were different.
It was a tricky time back then but things have changed for parents of children with additional needs and that is great.

But I've got side tracked again haven't I?!  Parenthood. Nothing can prepare you for what you will have to deal with. I have four children, all as different as chalk and cheese but all alike in many ways too. I love them all equally and without question.
We have been through a lot as parents, my hubby and I and I think we have learned a lot along the way. We would never claim to know it all and we both have different relationships with each of the children. Hubby is step dad to two of our four and I am Mum to all of them and he and I have very different approaches to our
 roles. While hubby hates to think anything negative about our children, I am more pragmatic or realistic maybe. I am not negative about any of them but I also see them for the human beings that they are. They make mistakes, the mess up sometimes and they are still learning even though two of them are married and they are all over 21 years of age.
I have been judgemental and critical of my children and sometimes I have been proved wrong when I have suspected them of something. However, more often than not I am right. Call it mothers intuition, call it living in the real world. Whatever you call it, I know my children and do not wear rose coloured spectacles where they are concerned whatever anyone may think.

I hope that we have set an good example to our children and I hope that they know that we will always be there for them if they need us. They may not like what we have to say at times but we always have their well-being at heart. I hope they feel they can come to us with any problem and we will listen and do our best to help in whatever way we can but we are not silly and won't get taken for fools if we can help it!

As parents we never stop learning. There is no handbook that arrives with your baby that tells you how to be a good parent. We learn from our mistakes and probably we learn from our own parents too. How we were brought up has a huge impact on the way that we bring up our own children. I guess we either want to bring them up the same as we were brought up or we want to do everything in our power to do things differently. Such is life. A learning process that never really ends.

I still get things wrong as a Mum. I still get things wrong as a wife too but that's another story! But I love my Mummy role and I love my Mummy time even now. I still get taken for granted...not in a horrible way but in the 'can i borrow..''can i have a lift to..' kind of way and I enjoy it really. I look at my four babies and I am proud of them all for being the people that they are, faults and all. I love their independence, their intelligence, their humanity and their kindness. I tolerate their teasing and their grumbles, their irritations and their laziness (!) and I love spending time with them. I just love them and I hope they know that.

Much love

xxxx

Poppy Picnic, Wonderful Winchester and Birthday Boy

Hi everyone,

It seems ages since I've settled down to write a blog post. I've been busy with stuff as usual and the fabulous weather  has meant I've been outside a lot when I'm not working. However, today, which is supposed to be the hottest day of the year so far, I am back at work and looking at the blue sky from my window. I shall be finished by 2pm though so plenty of time to get home and chill in the garden.
I would head down to my hut but we have a wedding reception to go to this evening and I fear that if I go down to the hut I won't want to come back until it gets dark!

Hubby has had this week off...much deserved after lots of hard work...so he has been around a lot at home. He had some bad news about a friend last week and went to visit the friend on Thursday and came away quite positive about things which was good.
Om Wednesday we went to Winchester and stayed overnight in a hotel with a pool! We had a fantastic steak dinner, visited the cathedral and also went to the Winchester Science Centre which was much more fun than it sounds.
At this point I was going to upload some photos to brighten things up but I seem unable to do so from my iPad for some reason. How very annoying. Oh, here you go!!

Apart from work and Winchester, I have had another session of CBT which was interesting, been to see my grandson who celebrated his 2nd birthday and did so by falling asleep on me for the first time in his life ( I loved it!), also saw granddaughter number 2 who is growing up so fast it's scarey. She drew me a treasure map and told me to go back when I had found the treasure. She's only 3! She also has the most beautiful hair. Curls to die for. I'm sure they will drive her crazy when she's older if my youngest daughter is anything to go by and who has curly hair that drives her to distraction, but at the moment it's beautiful. She was also wearing a crown while I was with her which just added to her 'princess'ness. I'm looking forward to lots of trips to the hut with the little ones this summer.

I've also made the final payment for the villa in Florida for our holiday and been to visit my dear old father in law who is still obsessed with shares and quiz shows on the TV!
Yesterday I spent a little time with my bestie and her granddaughter who is 3 months old and a beautiful little thing. My bestie is beautiful too by the way!
My son is off to Barcelona for a few days with mates and that's always a bit of a concern to be honest. I'm not sure if Barcelona will be able to survive their partying. I'm always grateful when any of my kids return from their travels safe and sound but even more so with him because , despite my nagging and reminding him to be careful, I'm  in no doubt that partying and much more besides goes on. I have seen that programme about suspicious parents following their off springs on their jaunts! I would hate to see what goes on really and I just want them all home safe and sound. Here's hoping!

The other thing that I have decided to do, apart from the Race for Life next weekend and which I've done no training for, is to have a Poppy Picnic down at my hut on June 21st. It will be open to everyone and I will be providing cakes and tea and maybe a BBQ if the weather if half decent. The picnic is the idea of The Royal British Legion and it's a way of raising funds for our forces. I think it's a fab idea and it means that I can invite everyone down to see my hut, they can spend the day at the seaside and hopefully have a bit of fun. Any donations received will go straight to RBL. The invitations will be going out soon via email, text, post, carrier pigeon, whatever method I can find.
I think it could be a really good day and I will be able to show off my hut to anyone who wants to see it but hasn't been able to get to it yet.
So, if you're reading this and fancy a trip to Hayling Island on June 21st please keep a note of the date and you can pop along if you would like to. The more the merrier I think.

So that's it for now. Things to do, people to see, photos to be added maybe too!

Have a lovely day,

Lots of love xxx

Work To Live Not Live To Work

So, here I am at work, thinking about my life and thinking about what I've done and what I've yet to do. I'm trying to get my thoughts together in one place, go through them and get rid of the ones that are negative. It's not as easy as it sounds.


I have just started a 6 week course of cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) which is designed to help me deal with my anxiety and stress and, as always seems the case with things like this, my thoughts are all over the place and are also coming thick and fast and in no particular order!
At the moment, I feel less stressed than I have for a very long time and I feel able to cope with most things. However, I know that that can all change in an instant and has done so many, many times before.
However, I have a strange sense of calmness within me which is hard to describe and which I am not used to. I am much more used to 'running on empty' and keeping going until I can't physically do anymore.
Now, I'm sure that the medication I take daily has helped enormously, but I also feel like I have changed but I don't know why. It's very odd. Yes, things are relatively calm on the home and family front which always helps but I feel like it's more my attitude to things that has changed and not my situation.
I want to plan for the future but I want to live now. I want to do things that I have been putting off for years because of anxiety or financial burdens or laziness or a combination of all three. As the saying goes, I want to work to live not live to work. I want my life the way that I want it and not how other people think it should be. I am as entitled to my opinion as anyone else and it doesn't matter if I don't agree with people all of the time. As long as I don't hurt people in any way then I don't see why I shouldn't do what I want.


Oooh, reading that bit back is already making me cringe....I want, I want, I want!! I sound like a self obsessed, selfish child but surely everyone has things that they want. I'm not big on possessions and money. If there is money to be spent I will spend it but if there isn't any money then I'm no sadder because of it. I actually quite enjoy the challenge of making do and I have done so many, many times over the years. I appreciate everything that I have and I love the people in my life. If I can help anyone then I will but I have often done this to the detriment of myself. I have had to force myself to say 'no' and I find that difficult. I don't want to upset anyone but, really, I have to start putting myself first.
I am now 54. I am in good health, which I am eternally grateful for. I have loving friends and family and I am a good person. I genuinely think that I easy to please. It doesn't take much to make me happy. However, having said that, it doesn't take much to make me mad either! But I love gestures of kindness, both receiving and giving. I try to keep in contact with people I care about on a regular basis, either by text, email, letter or phone call, although the phone call bit I find intimidating and always have. I am delighted that there is e-mail but actually I'm a big fan of the written word. I love writing and receiving letters. I know it can be time consuming to sit and write a letter and post it when you could fire off an email in a couple of minutes but, oh the joy of getting a handwritten letter through the letterbox unexpectedly!


I think I am going to make a list of places I want to go and things that I want to experience...a sort of bucket list I suppose... and see how many I achieve before the end of the year. Mind you, I have made those lists before and then something crops up and I'm not able to do them for one reason or another. However, as I said earlier in this post, I do feel different. I'm not about hand in my notice and travel around the world, however amazing that sounds, but I am going to  make changes and I am going to be positive and I am going to do what I want to do.


Wow, you see what I mean about my thoughts being all over the place?! This is all good and I'm in a positive frame of mind. I really hope it continues. If the CBT sessions give me the tools to be able to deal with my anxiety before it gets out of hand then I will be absolutely thrilled. I'm prepared to give it my best shot, do the work and get the results that I know I can achieve.
I'm a little bit fed up of being the 'yes' lady, the one that doesn't make a fuss, the one that is a pushover and the one who sits quietly in the corner feeling embarrassed. While a lot of those things are just me and the way that I am, some of them can be changed and it is going to take some real effort for me to change it but I feel that I will be able to do so.


I know...blah ,blah, blah,.... I'm sure a lot of people reading this will be thinking 'what a load of old drivel' and 'here she goes again'... but there you go. I can't help what people think of me. As long as I am happy in my own skin, which I haven't been for so long, then I know I'm going to be ok.


Have a happy day everyone. I'm off to write a list and make plans!!!




xxxx

Hut Heaven

Hi again,

I know there seems to be a recurring theme here at the moment...hut, beach, hut, sunshine, hut...you see what I mean?... but I really need to write this post because I am still buzzing about my day.

I realised the other week that I have never been and spent time at my hut on my own. I love to take people down there and I love to show it off but I have never spent time there completely alone. I felt that I had to rectify this and quickly.
Due to my work patterns, it has been quite difficult to fit in a lone visit and the weather has not always been favorable and I always have other things to do, but I decided that yesterday was going to be the day that I put things right.
I worked on Monday evening as usual  and resolved to get up the following morning, walk the dog and then drive down to Hayling and my hut.
The weather forecast was pretty good.  I took a selection of my birthday presents with me and decided that I was going to spend my day pottering about, reading and drinking tea. The thought of it filled me with joy.

It took 40 mins to get from our house to the hut and I gleefully unlocked the outer doors and let myself in.
The first thing I saw was a broken mirror!! I decided that the '7 years bad luck' didn't apply to me because I didn't break the mirror! My 'beach hut repair man' had been doing running repairs following the storms and the exterior banging in of nails and so on had knocked the mirror off of its hook and onto the floor.
The good news was that the hut looked much more secure than the last time I was there. The floorboards had been sorted out and the base was securely attached to the frame.

I unloaded my bits from the car, carefully placed my new knickknacks in suitable places and put the kettle on. I put the sun lounger out on the decking area, found the remaining choccie biscuits that were left from Christmas and were amazingly not soggy or damp, made a cup of tea and prepared to settle down and read my new book.

It was blissful. It was heavenly. It was all I had wanted and so much more. The sun was shining and there was a gentle breeze. There was one person on our row of huts who was doing some running repairs of his own and that was it. No people, no dogs, no cars....just me and my hut and my thoughts. The fact that the sun was shining was an added bonus.

After a couple of hours of total relaxation a car pulled up and the repair man had arrived. Although I had spoken to him several times on the phone, I had never met him so it was lovely to put a face to the voice. We sat and had another cup of tea and a chat and then he got on with what he wanted to do and I went for a walk to then end of the road and got myself a cheese salad roll via the gift shop that I love and that sells all of the things that I love including this.....

....which is the same as one of the gifts my daughter gave me for my birthday and which is already in the hut.

One of my sisters got me this.......

....which I also love and which is also in my hut. (Sorry that it's sideways on. I don't know how to get it round the right way without messing the blog up!!)  It's a heart made of cockle shells and cockles are a family tradition. Both our Nan and our Mum were big cocklers. I remember going cockling as a child, very probably at Hayling, putting the cockles in a bucket with water and flour overnight so that the cockles would have a good feed and be nice and fat in the morning and then boiling the cockles until the shells opened. We would then wait for them to cool down before eating them in a very short space of time. My sister often goes and finds cockles when she is at the coast with her own children and, no doubt, her grandchildren will very soon know about the cockle tradition.
The cockles that are available in supermarkets are, in my opinion, not a patch on fresh, flour-fed cockles that you have collected yourself. We also have a 'thing' for winkles too! I remember our Nan collecting winkles, cooking them and then giving us a needle each so that we could get the winkles out of their shells. I'm not sure that my children even know what winkles are! Perhaps I should teach them.

Anyway, back to my blissful day.....after a couple of hours all the jobs were done and my man went on his way. I stayed for another hour until I decided that I really should be thinking about packing up and going home...especially as I had to be at work before 6pm.

I washed up the cups, put away the chairs and shut down the hut for the day. I felt a bit sad to be leaving but I felt completely thrilled that I had had such a fantastic day.
When I used to think about having a beach hut I used to fantasize what my perfect day would be like. After the burglary and the storm damage I was longing for a good day there. Well, yesterday was my perfect day.
I was overwhelmed by how much I had loved my day there. I really couldn't put into words just how perfect and wonderful it was. It was all I had dreamed about and more. The fact that I got sun burnt and am still lobster-red 24 hours later was just one of those things!

And so my love affair with my hut is alive and well. I couldn't be more delighted to be a hut owner and I hope the affair continues for a very, very long time.

I hope I haven't gone overboard with the photos!

Much love.

xxxx

Beach Hut Birthday

Hi everyone.


It's a beautiful morning here. The sun is shining, the sky is blue...and I'm at work! It's very quiet and so I hope to have a little bit of time to compose this post.


Yesterday was my birthday. Yes, I am now 54 years old. Apparently my entry into this life was delayed by three weeks, having been due to be born mid April and finally putting in an appearance  at the beginning of May. Poor Mum! I was a hefty baby too weighing in at just under 10lbs. Poor Mum again!


I have always quite enjoyed my birthday and seen it as an excuse to be lazy and self-indulgent for a day without feeling too guilty. Whatever my kids may say, I am not really a party animal! I really loved my 50th birthday a few years ago when family and friends got together. That was rather special and provided me with lots of memories but, apart from that, birthdays come and birthdays go without too much of a fanfare.


I had a nice day yesterday. I had worked a night shift the previous evening so I didn't get home until about 8.45 a.m. Hubby had brought a chunk of butter and some croissants and orange juice so we sat down and had breakfast and I opened my cards and gifts.
I had some beautiful cards and some funny cards. I had lovely, thoughtfully chosen gifts - many of them along the beach hut theme which I adore and which seems to have become what I'm known for...crazy beach hut lady!... and I received lots of Facebook messages wishing me a happy day.
I turned down the offer of lunch with hubby as we had already planned an evening out and I had worked all the previous night. I had visits from friends and my sister, all of whom found me in my pyjamas which I stayed in for most of the day! I drank tea and watched 'Frozen' which I had been meaning to watch for ages just so I know what the grandchildren are talking about when I see them...even though I now know that they haven't seen it yet! what I should have watched was 'Tangled' which I know they adore. Still, no harm done and a good excuse for me to watch another Disney movie.


I had been sent an email from the local pizza emporium inviting me to take up their offer of a birthday bottle of Prosecco for free if I dined at their restaurant so most of the family and I met up there at 8 p.m. and munched our way through starters and mains, various drinks and the lovely chilled 'bubbly'.
After that we headed to my daughter's house up the road where I had more presents and cards to open. There were birthday banners on the door, a birthday cake with candles (NOT 54!) and a few more drinks. It was lovely.
Knowing that I had an early start this morning, the evening didn't go on much past 10.30 p.m. when we went  home, had a cup of tea and then went to bed.
I woke this morning with a clear head but feeling very weary and now here I am back at work.


Today is my niece's hen 'do' which I had really hoped to attend but can't due to work commitments. There are all sorts of things planned for her for today and the fact that it's such a glorious day makes the whole thing even better. I shall be meeting up with everyone this evening and I'm looking forward to it very much.
Yet again, I am working tomorrow so I shall need to be careful with my drink choices!


I am also working on Monday for a few hours in the afternoon and I really, really want to go down to my beach hut and spend some time there on my own just so I can relax and sit  quietly to think about what needs doing and if I want to change the interior and so on.
I have been given so many presents that are beach hut themed that I'm not sure what to do with them all! I think some will go to the hut and some will stay at home..... or maybe I should just move into my hut. Now there's an idea!!!
One of the conditions of owning the hut is that no-one is allowed to sleep there overnight but I'm sure that people probably do. I like the idea of it but I think that the reality of the situation is that's generally probably too cold to do so. I also don't have a bed there! Now, I don't want an actual bed there but it would be lovely to have something to lay on so that I could just stretch out and read a book and have a doze if I wanted to. There is a lounger there and it's very comfy but I'm feeling the need for a more permanent structure. If anyone happens to have any ideas please do let me know.


I also need to choose a name for my hut and a colour scheme and all sorts. I am waiting for the repairs to be completed and then I can crack on with it. So, any ideas for the  name would also be gratefully received!


Well, I think that's it for now. I really do have to start adding photos to my blog to brighten it up a bit. Just think of all of the hut related pics I could add!


Have a lovely weekend everyone.


Much love


xxxxxx