When Phoebe Ate Cake....😊🎉🎂

Well crikey! That was a busy week. Last weekend we had the eldest three grandchildren to stay overnight. 

Noah and Grandad doing homework😍

On Monday I had my eyebrows waxed for the very first time followed by a wonderful massage of my back and shoulders which really hit the spot. I left the salon feeling like a different woman. On Monday evening hubby went away for work and didn't return until Thursday evening so I've been dog walking a lot. On Tuesday I went to see middle daughter for a catch up. In the evening I went with youngest daughter to a taster session for the Rock Choir where we learned the harmonies for 'A Little Help From My Friends'. It was fun and really liberating to sing out loud with other people.

 On Wednesday I had the twins for the day while their parents went to work. It's always exhausting but I love my time with them.

The twins love books📚

 On Thursday I went to work as usual and hubby returned in the evening. On Friday I made a birthday cake and bought some edible cat decorations to go on it along with some pink glitter. It was far from perfect but tasted nice when we tried it today! 

Cake in progress 

I also brought myself some size 14 jeans and a t shirt which was great. Quite how I am still able to get into size 14 clothes after the rubbish I have been eating lately is beyond me to be honest but I'm very happy about it. I think it's the dog walking that is helping plus the incentive of the Fitbit which I still wear everyday....although sometimes I forget to charge it up and then it runs out midway through the day which is very frustrating.

Bella patiently waiting for another walk

Friday also saw me meeting up with a man who has agreed to do some repair work to my hut. It was a glorious day and I was very tempted to stay but I had loads to do and it was freezing! 

On Saturday hubby and I went and met up with his two brothers. We had tapas for lunch and a catch up before one of them flies off to Hong Kong for a couple of weeks on holiday and to celebrate his birthday. I'm not convinced about tapas. I'd much rather have a 'proper' meal😉 

Tapas. Just okay 😕

Today, Sunday, we met up with most of the family and had lunch to celebrate another birthday, this time it was my son's girlfriend who has her birthday tomorrow. The cake I made earlier in the week was for her. I gave the cake to the waiting staff without Georgie knowing and the cake was brought out after our main course with candles and everything! Georgie had no idea. We all sang her 'Happy Birthday' and then ate said cake. It was lovely even if I do say so myself. 

 

Georgie and her cake🎂

Phoebe and Sam were with us and they were amazingly well behaved. They sat in high chairs,there were no tears, Sam ate about half of his Daddy's food and then, amazingly, Phoebe ate some cake. This is the girl who hardly eats anything. 

This morning she ate a bowl of porridge for the first time ever and then she ate cake. It was just wonderful to see. This bodes well as it's their first birthday on Thursday and there will most certainly be cake there!

Add to that that Sam was wearing a shirt and bow tie and Phoebe was wearing a pink dress and had a bow in her hair you might be able to understand why I was so taken with them..... well, more than usual anyway😉

 We also had the drama of Trump being inaugurated on Thursday and my sadness at seeing the Obamas leaving the White House for the last time. We also received news of the passing of a man who was a big part of my hubby's life which was upsetting. He was one of those characters that you think will be around forever. He had been ill for some time but when the end comes it's quite often still a shock of sorts. Jim, you will be missed. 

So it's been busy, it's been fun and it's been heartwarming. How lovely❤ Have a great week everyone. Xxx

Has Anyone Seen My Mojo?

It's another early wake up for me.....5.15am.....quite unnecessary and unwanted as usual. I went to bed early last night as I was feeling so very tired and I feel like I slept ok but 5.15am?? Really?!?! I know this blog is about me and my life and I know it has been full of the twins and not a lot else of late but I guess that's because they have become a huge part of my life. What I haven't written about lately is me and how I'm feeling so I thought, thanks to another early start, that's what I would do.....update you about now I'M doing. Selfish I know but still...my blog, my choice😏

Part of working lunch. Mince pie and cheese and crackers not sjown😂

 Currently, I work one day a week. I feel guilty about that obviously which goes without saying. I feel that I should be working more, working harder, earning money but I just don't seem to have the energy at the moment. It may because I got so stressed in my last job that I gave up just before Christmas. Maybe I I just need to give myself permission to not be run ragged every single day. Hubby says that I fill my days up with 'stuff' and that I should be more lazy but it's not me really. There is always something to be done. I do find myself watching a bit more 'crap' TV these days. 'The Real Housewives of Beverley Hills' etc is quite often put on at 5pm when there is a bit of a lull, the dogs have been walked and it's too early for supper. It's escapism I have no doubt but when I watch it I don't think about anything else for a little while. There is no doubt that I am feeling my age at the moment and I'm not sure why. I look in the mirror and I look haggard and tired. I have black rings under my eyes and my face looks older than it ever has. I am managing to keep the weight off that I lost which is great but I don't feel any better for it really at the moment. I go to bed earlier but I don't sleep well very often. The better I sleep the more I ache in the mornings is seems. If I have slept well then my hip and back ache like mad when I get up! My diet hasn't been good of late either. The post Christmas bloat seems to be hanging around for longer than I would like. I have little energy to do anything other than get through each day sometimes although, having said that, I had a wonderfully productive day two days ago and got loads done so maybe I am just underestimating my day to day achievements. I am much better at not fretting so much about things that are out of my control. I'm not sure if that is a deliberate choice to be honest. I just don't seem to have the emotional energy to worry about absolutely everything and everyone anymore. My head sometimes feels so full of things sometimes that I can't remember the most simple of things. I find myself writing lists to remind myself what I need to do....not the usual boring stuff but the extras that I am liable to forget. I used to remember every Ines birthdays and be organised about posting cards and so on. Not anymore. Often I don't realise it's someone's birthday until the day before or even on the day and then I feel bad but I feel like I have so much to remember that something has to give! I hope that things will get back on an even keel soon. I just would like to feel more energetic. I hope that eating more healthily will be a start. I am guilty of snacking or cooking hubby a meal and not myself because I don't want what he has and I don't want to cook two separate meals. In reality, of course, I should cook what I want and if he doesn't want what I cook,he could cook his own meal but that feels really selfish to me. I want and need to feel more upbeat. I want to be a vibrant and energetic Nanny, an inspiring Mum and an attractive wife. I would like to have more energy, feel more bouncy and not feel like everything is an effort. Hopefully that is not too much to ask and I will be able to look back at this in a few months and tut at the self indulgence of this post. Have a good day everyone. It's now 6.22 am, I have drunk a bottle of fizzy water, hubby is up and about and there are dogs to be walked before I go to work. See you later, allligator! Xxxxx

The One Where Phoebe Had Her Surgery

Hi all. Another momentous event so, of course, I have to blog about it....just to clear my mind if nothing else. Yes, little princess Phoebe had her first surgery on Thursday afternoon at The Evalina Children's Hospital in London (http://www.evelinalondon.nhs.uk/Home.aspx) She had her cleft palate repaired on Thursday afternoon and was home again on late Saturday. Mummy and Daddy stayed up in London in a hotel a stone's throw from the hospital for the duration of her stay so that they could be with her and get to her quickly if they needed to. There was no accommodation available in the hospital and so the hotel was the next best option. In reality it turned out to be the best thing because at least the worried parents could get a break and a decent night's sleep. Any of you who have ever tried to sleep in a bed beside your child on a hospital ward will know that sleep proves very elusive in those conditions. You may be aware that this was the second attempt at this surgery after the earlier appointment was cancelled due to Phoebe being poorly. Again, this proved to be for the best because Phoebe has come on in leaps and bounds over the past few weeks and she was certainly much more robust on the run up to this appointment than the last. But you never quite know with young Phoebe! It was a relief to everyone when the anaesthetist said that the operation could go ahead as planned.

Phoebe the day before surgery. Happy as ever!

 I went to pick up Phoebe's twin brother Sam on Wednesday lunchtime as he was coming to stay with us for a few days. I think that was the most upsetting part of it all for Mummy....saying goodbye to her little boy. She watched me drive away from her living room window and waved until we were out of sight. It was a joy to have Sam with us. I was exhausted by the time that I took him home but to have him here, see his progress, play with him and really get to know him was wonderful. He had an off day on Friday which is most unlike him but he was in a relatively strange place without his family and sleeping in a travel cot. It must have been so unsettling for him. There is also that fact that he is a twin. There are many reports of twins who are separated feeling each others emotions and even pain so it is quite possible that he could sense that Phoebe was not feeling well and that made him feel the same. Who knows? Anyway, on Saturday he was back to his usual self...smiling, laughing and almost crawling! He also loves scrambled egg and baked beans, mashed banana and Weetabix and has a strong dislike for savoury premade foods of any kind!

Just like my Mum used to make for Kirsty when she was little - scrambled egg and baked beans. He loved it.

Clever boy Sam😊

 Having Sam with us also helped me to not focus and worry too much about Phoebe and about Kirsty. Having been in a very similar situation when my daughter had palate surgery over 30 years ago, I was reminded of the time between when your baby goes for surgery and when she gets back from recovery, the time drags,you have no idea how things are going and you watch the clock incessantly. You can't eat, you can't sleep. You don't want to leave the hospital in case something happens and they need you urgently. Things have changed so much though and Mummy and Daddy were able to get a bit of rest once Phoebe went to theatre...which wasn't until mid afternoon so you can imagine how long the morning must have seemed to them all. Phoebe was also not allowed a bottle or food from 3.30 am so she went almost 12 hours with food before surgery. However, all reports are that she was a trooper and took it all in her stride, bless her heart. Several hours later we got the call to say that she had returned from surgery and was back on the ward. All seemed to have gone well. Due to Stickler Syndrome , Phoebe has a difficult airway apparently. Basically, her airway is small and so they had to be cautious about anaesthesia especially as the surgery was taking place at the back of her throat and there would be swelling as a consequence. As expected, she returned from theatre with a tube in situ to keep her airway open in case the swelling caused problems. Of course, Phoebe being Phoebe, as soon as she felt anything like awake she was attempting to pull the tune out. She succeeded eventually and, luckily, it wasn't a problem! She also managed to pull out the cannulas that were in both feet overnight too. That's our Phoebance! The staff looking after her at the hospital described her as a 'princess' and a 'diva' which is exactly how we all refer to her. They said that she is incredibly determined and strong and will not do anything that she doesn't want to. That trait will stand her in good stead for years to come I am sure. There was a little concern when her sats dropped overnight on Friday and there was a possibility that she might have to stay in hospital for an extra night but, in the end, the decision was made for her to be allowed home and so that was that. Bags packed, medicines collected and then a train journey home which she hated every minute of by all accounts. I took Sam back home to his family on Saturday evening and the family were reunited. I swopped children with Mummy.....she cuddled her boy and I cuddled Phoebe who fell asleep on me for literally a few minutes and was then wide awake again! Holding her stirred up so many emotions in me. It was just like holding Kirsty all those years ago, feeling so grateful that she had survived the surgery, trying not to think about the next surgery or medical appointment, just cuddling her and wanting her to feel safe, secure and loved. 

Phoebe two days after surgery. Back at home with her family and in her own bed. Beautiful brave girl.

 So, that's it for now. Phoebe and Sam will soon be a year old and there is already a party organised. Phoebe needs to be kept away from crowded places and situations where she might pick up a cold or any bugs for 2 weeks, she needs to take her medicine(!) and she needs to keep feeding well. Hopefully, the next week or so will go smoothly and the family can regroup and focus on each other for a while. Thank you, from me, to all of you have have supported the family, not only over the past week, but over the past year. To everyone who has been in touch in any way - either with the family or with me - thank you so much. It means a lot to everyone involved. So it's onwards and upwards. Princess Phoebe and Super Sam are continuing their adventure. Have a good week everyone. Extra love to my sister and brother in law and to my sister in law too. xxxxx