Ggrrrrr

Well..... today, and for the last few days to be honest, I am feeling ggrrrrrrr! I'm irritable and irritated, fed up and frustrated, have no motivation and generally feel gloomy. I am not depressed, I'm not anxious and I'm not stressed. I'm just....ggrrrrr! I'm not sure if anyone who reads this has the same kind of feelings from time to time?

I'm not really sure where this latest bout of 'ggrrrr' has come from. I'm healthy and well, I have no major worries or concerns and everyone around me and those who I love and care about are well. I think that I am hoping that, by the time I have finished this update, I will have got all of the 'ggrrr' off of my chest and will feel unburdened. However, I know that that will not make for a very interesting read!

I have the week off as it's half term and the school that I work at is closed for the holiday. This should mean that I have lots of time to do things and go places. We also had a long Bank Holiday weekend, I wasn't working and there was the perfect time to do things.
Well, the Sunday of the weekend was the day that my son had his first BBQ. It was to celebrate his birthday and he and his girlfriend had done a fabulous job of organising it all. Hubby and I knew that one of us would be driving and I agreed to do it. I really didn't mind but I do find being with a lot of people who are having a good time and not being able to have a drink quite difficult.
The next day, Bank Holiday Monday, I was awake very, very early and got up and walked the dog. Hubby got up and settled in for a day of watching the cricket on TV with the single break of going food shopping. That was that for my holiday weekend. I think, in the end, I went to bed feeling angry and also disappointed that yet another weekend had passed by with little to show for it, especially as I usually work every Saturday and Sunday.

Today I have to stay in as there is a parcel being delivered 'sometime between 7am and 9pm'. Yes, sometime within that 14 hour time slot the parcel should arrive.I have to stay here to sign for it. Surely the company could have at least given it an AM or PM delivery slot. It means that I can't even take the dog out for a walk in case I miss the delivery. But, on the positive side, the delivery could be here in the next hour and then I have all the rest of the day free. It's not like I even have places I need to go to. It's just the fact that I am stuck at home that I find so frustrating. It's the way that I am looking at it that should change. I should be making the most of being at home and get on with decluttering which is high on my list of things to do....especially as we now have a house that is becoming cluttered with my father in law's bits and pieces, things that we don't really want but that we don't want to give/throw away. And let's not go there with the photos.....!

So, frustration is the word for today or, at least, it's the word to describe my feelings at the moment. I'm not sure how to shake the feeling off and be more upbeat. I do know that I am going to back off from trying to arrange things that really should be arranged by someone else. It's not up to me to be the moving force in every decision that is made. I sometimes feel that if I don't get the ball rolling then nobody will but, in reality, things will get sorted out in the end. It's just that I like things to be done. If something needs organising then get on and organise it. Why keep putting things off?
Now, you see, perhaps that is the crux of my frustration?! Perhaps this 'ggrrr' post has lead  me to what the actual problem is. Maybe I need to take a good few steps back and leave people to get on with their lives and I get on with mine. Lets see shall we.

xxx