Hi folks,
Happy Friday to you all...if, indeed, you are reading this on a Friday. If not, happy day to you.I hope the sun is shining on you as it is on me as I sit in my conservatory and type this up. It's a bit chilly, probably too chilly to be sitting in a cold conservatory, but I couldn't resist. I have a cup of tea, a walked dog by my side and all is calm.
A quick update: daughter's eyes remain stable. Check up in 2 weeks time.
Father in law is still in hospital, now in isolation on a respiratory ward as the doctors are a bit baffled as to why he is not responding to antibiotics. From all reports he still isn't eating- certainly not enough to sustain him- and he continues to be picky about his physiotherapy. He seems to be quite comfortable, doesn't want anything and isn't in pain.
Hubby and I made an impromptu visit yesterday at lunchtime to see if we could encourage him to eat. When we arrived at his room, father in law was nowhere to be seen and there was a 'nil by mouth' sign on his door. That's ironic for a man who is refusing to eat! It transpires that he had been taken for a bronchoscopy as all of the other tests and scans he has had have proved inconclusive. We await the results.
It is a difficult situation for the family and we can only second guess what is going on and what the outcome will be. Only time will tell.
Hubby has, today, accepted a job offer which will give him a decent income and which takes him back to what he does best. He will have a company care etc etc so he is extremely happy and his on his way home with all the info as I type this. A celebratory bottle of beer is chilling in the fridge for him.
I was reading back through my previous posts in the early hours of this morning and specifically reading about the CBT that I had and how good I was feeling. Well, guess what? I'm not feeling so good at the moment. I'm really disappointed with myself for feeling like I do and for letting myself get into this state again.
What state? Trembling, shaking, chest pain, palpitations....all of the things that go hand in hand and cause anxiety of the highest order in me.
As I work in a medical centre I have access to a blood pressure monitor. I was feeling pretty stressed and worried on a previous shift last week and so I took my blood pressure. Dear oh dear. I'm glad I took it but the reading scared the s*** out of me and I decided that I should ring the doctor the next morning. Then came a night full of thoughts about me having a heart attack or a stroke...all of which can be caused by high blood pressure. I know that sounds dramatic but that's how I think when I'm like this.
I rang the doctor who asked me to go to the surgery that evening, took my blood pressure which was high again and ordered an ECG and a range of blood tests. So I have blood tests due on Monday and an ECG on Thursday. I'm sure that everything will come back ok. I've had these tests done before and they were fine but you never know. I go back to see the doc in 2 weeks when all of the test results should be back.
I had my bp taken in December and it was fine. Interestingly, the doc asked me if I was on holiday from work when I had my blood pressure done at that time and,yes, I was! I told him that I have given in my notice and will be leaving at the end of this term. He winked and smiled.
I know that I find my job stupidly stressful at times but when I am anxious I find it even more difficult so you can only imagine how I felt on my night shift last night when I had 9 students in overnight. I won't go into specifics, suffice to say that teenagers will be teenagers! I finally got to sleep at 1.30am and was up again at 4.30am so it has been a long day.
I handled the various situations at work the best way that I could but I didn't find it easy and I was working alone so all of the responsibility was mine. I was very pleased when my shift ended and I was able to drive the 30 miles home again and take the dog out!
As you can tell, it's been a difficult time really and I think that is why my anxiety levels have crept up without me realising. I am annoyed that I didn't realise before things got so bad but I can't do anything now except focus on positivity and taking time for myself while I get back, again, on the straight and narrow!
It will probably perplex many of you to know, then, that my son and i have signed up to do the Surrey Three Peaks Challenge in April!! 26 miles of hills and walking and all done in the hope of raising some funds for the Stickler Diagnostic Clinic at Addenbrookes. Obviously, I will need to have my medical test results back and I will have to get advice from my GP but everything I read says that exercise is good for raising high bloop pressure. I promise I won't take part in the challenge if I'm told not to or if I don't feel well enough.
Oh yes, and my fit February...ha ha! But I am walking at least 10,000 steps and drinking 8 glasses of water every day so that's a good start.
Well, I'll sign off now. It's just gone 5pm and it's still not dark. Happy days! Spring is coming.
Stay safe and be happy everyone.
xxxxx
No comments:
Post a Comment