We've had another one of 'those' weeks so I'll fill you in.....
Father in law, who has been in hospital for 3 weeks and who no visitors had ever seen out of his hospital bed, was deemed fit to go home last Monday. To say that we were staggered at that decision would be an understatement. We were told that he was medically fit for discharge and had been sen mobilising to the bathroom with a frame and that the physio had signed him off. Eating was still a huge issue but a dietician had been and had a word with Dad and left him a brochure. Really?!?!
Father in law had also told the hospital that he would be picked up within the hour by a family member.......! We all have jobs and responsibilities and we told the hospital that Dad would have to stay there until the following day.
On Tuesday morning, following a call from the hospital to say, basically, that if we didn't pick Dad up then they would arrange hospital transport to take him back to his flat, I went and collected him.
I went to the ward and into his room where I found a new patient in his bed. Dad was waiting in what they describe as the discharge lounge. When I found him he was asleep in a chair among a room full of old and frail people all waiting to be moved on to their destination. Seeing my dear father in law amongst the elderly people was a real shock to me. It dawned on me just how frail he has become.
When I woke him from his snooze he was confused and had no idea where he was or why he had been moved from his bed. Apparently it had been explained to him but his memory is now so bad that he had no recollection of it at all.
He had a bag of medication with him and all of his personal belongings. He had no idea what the medicine was let alone what it was for or how to use it. I asked if there was a frame for him to take home and was told that he didn't have one and that he was free to go. I had to borrow a wheelchair to get him to the car and getting into the vehicle was very hard for him.
Eventually I got him home and there I stayed with him for the best part of 8 hours, trying to coax him to eat and drink. He spilled a strawberry milk drink all over himself, he couldn't remember how the television remote control worked and was concerned, as ever, about the lottery!
A member of a care team was due to call between 5 and 7 and at 7.30pm a lady arrived to see Dad and check his mobility etc etc. Earlier in the day, Dad had lurched from surface to surface while trying to get to the kitchen and had fallen towards me. if i hadn't been there he would have ended up on the floor.
Anyway, the carer lady asked Dad to stand up (remember he didn't have a frame) and to walk to the bedroom so that she could see for herself how he would manage. His response 'No problem at all' - his stock answer to everything these days. He got his stick, stood up, took two steps forward and then fell backwards onto me. Luckily he didn't hurt himself. The carer was not allowed to help him up! If he couldn't get up then the paramedics would be called. Dad crawled to his chair and pulled himself up with a little help from me. It was decided that Dad should be put to bed and that's where he would have to stay until the carer came in in the morning.
I had severe doubts that he would stay in bed for that long. He wouldn't remember that he was supposed to stay in bed....but don't forget that the hospital said that he was fit to go home with care twice a day.
I eventually left him after informing his sons of the situation and one of them decided that Dad could not be trusted to stay in bed and so went and slept on the armchair in Dad's lounge just to keep an eye out.
Sure enough a 4 am dad got up and dressed and went into the lounge ready for the day to start. He took a lot of persuading to go back to bed and reluctantly agreed to but stayed in his day clothes.
After looking at Dad's discharge notes from the hospital, my brother in law realised that Dad should have been discharged WITH a rigid walking frame and there ensued lots of heated 'discussions' with care teams and the hospital about their duty of care or lack of it.
Anyway, a day, or was it two days?, later on a routine lunchtime visit Dad was found in his chair in a distressed state. It appears that he had fallen over in the bathroom and had dragged himself through the hall and the lounge and climbed into his chair where he felt safe. He didn't know, or wouldn't say, what had happened, had no idea how long he had been there and was a bit shaken. After much discussion between GPs and care teams it was decided that the paramedics needed to come out....although, apparently, because he had crawled back to his chair they didn't need to come out because he was obviously ok!!!
Dad was taken back to hospital and that is where is remains.
We did have a call on Friday to say that, again, he was medically fit to go home. You can only guess what our response was.
The hospital seem completely unaware of Dad's confused/forgetful state because he seems coherent when you talk to him but we know that he is in no fit state physically or mentally to look after himself at present. The events of the last week have shown us that.
We believe that, at least short term, Dad needs 24 hour observation. He needs rehabilitation. He needs to be properly encouraged to eat and drink. He cannot, and will not, cook for himself or, sometimes, even remember to eat. He needs to be safe when he is mobilising and he cannot be left without someone on hand in case he falls over again.
On a much happier note, hubby and I spent Valentine's Day morning at the beach hut. It was his idea and he went to the local butcher and got bacon and sausages for our brunch. It was fantastic to be back there again. I love my hut so much.
Hubby doesn't go to the hut much, it's not really his thing, but he enjoyed our morning. The sun even made an effort to come out and it wasn't windy either...another of hubby's pet hates about the seaside.
The hut needs a little bit of repair work done and then it needs painting so we have to come up with a colour scheme and then decide what kind of paint will be best to use. The hut next door to ours has been painted in masonry paint and it seems to be withstanding the weather conditions so we may go with that option. As for colours....the brighter the better as far as I'm concerned.
Valentine's afternoon saw me doing a bit of cooking (including binning some love buns that I had attempted and which were disasterous) and then settling down for a bite to eat and watching a film.
Sunday saw the sun shine in the afternoon and I realised just how much I am looking forward to the coming months in our new home. I brought some poppy seeds so that we can have poppies in our new garden. I then went down to my shed which is at the bottom of the garden. We have 2 sheds and the one that I call mine is currently empty apart from a few garden chairs and a childs bike.
I really want to make the shed like an extra room that I can make use of...almost like another beach hut but in the garden. With that in mind, I got some bubble wrap and a builder's stapler and set about insulating the shed after a fashion and I did a pretty good job even if I do say so myself. Already I can see me sitting down there in the evenings.
I ran an extension cable down there and had the heater and my music on for a little while and it was wonderful. I know it wouldn't be for everyone but for me it's pretty much perfect. I really did have a lovely weekend.
There is much more that I could go on about now but I had better leave it there for now. By the next time I blog we should have a clearer idea about Dad which is the main thing. In two weeks time I should have got my test results back and hubby will have started his new job.
As you can tell,there is lots going on and I'm trying to look to the future with optimism and enthusiasm which doesn't come easily to me!
Have a great week everyone.
xxxxxxx
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