Christmas Confession

Hi all,

I hope you all had a very happy Christmas time with your loved ones and that you all enjoyed the festivities and had fun.

I've been thinking about whether to do this update or not but I think I have to as this blog is about my life in general and I have to be honest to do it justice and to make it worth my while. So, I have a confession to make.... on Christmas morning I was so hungover that I was not able to attend breakfast or the opening of presents. There, I've admitted it. My shame and embarrassment have haunted me over the last few days and I'm sort of hoping that putting it out there on this will, at least,open people's eyes to what I can be like and also to get it off my chest.

I was so looking forward to having our first Christmas in our new home and to be having most of the family around us. My Christmas Eve started wonderfully with a visit to my daughter and her family.The 4 grandchildren - ages from 5 years to 8 weeks - were on great form and were a joy to spend time with. They were allowed to open their presents from us as we weren't seeing them on the day and that was very special. There reactions were something I will treasure.

Then it was back home to prepare for the arrival of the rest of the family for the annual Christmas Eve quiz. I sorted the food and hubby made several trips to the railway station to pick up family. By 8 pm everyone had arrived and we started on the food (just nibbles and a chilli really), had a few drinks and got on with the quiz. I hadn't organised any quiz prizes and so had to run around and find some things that would be acceptable.' Frozen' mugs anyone?! It was the usual uproarious affair with lots of laughs and a few bones of contention regarding the answers but we all loved it. From there on was where it all went wrong for me.

I was having a great time, chatting, catching up and not thinking about what I was drinking. The night wore on. Various people drifted off to bed and I was left with music, two other 'merry' guests who were as happy to sing and dance as I was and the remote control. Unfortunately, the music got louder (Uptown Funk is a great to dance to when at full volume but probably not best at 2 in the morning) and things got a little out of hand, After several requests from other guests to please turn the volume down, we finally gave in and went to bed and that was it. The damage was done and I was obviously going to be a wreck the next morning.

I WAS a wreck the next morning. I could barely get out of bed, let alone prepare breakfast or eat or drink anything. I couldn't sit upright without feeling violently sick so I went back to bed and that is where I stayed pretty much all day to my shame. I didn't open a present or see anyone open theirs. Fortunately, all of the family were leaving to go for dinner elsewhere, Unfortunately, my father in law was coming for lunch and that couldn't be put off. There was also no way that I was going to be able to cook a dinner or eat anything. Oh, I cringe as I am writing this. It really is appalling.

Well, anyway, father in law arrived and I spent about 10 minutes trying to make conversation until hubby returned and then hubby got on and cooked the Christmas lunch which he had no idea that he was going to do and which he has never done before and I, yes, you've guessed it, went back to bed.
I did try to eat some lunch but it was a wasted effort and father in law started to eat, got a bad case of hiccups and couldn't eat after that. My poor husband. I felt so sorry for him. No amount of apologising is going to make up for this episode but he was a star and didn't moan, complain or get angry with me and I know, if the boot had been on the other foot, I would not have been so gracious.

Hubby took father in law home, walked the dog and then, finally, his work was done. My headache and nausea had subsided but I still couldn't eat anything. I still felt wretched but more because I had ruined people's day more than anything...and the fact that I had been such an idiot made me feel even worse.

Boxing Day morning arrived and I had been up since the early hours thinking about what I had done and how I was going to sort it out. All I could do was apologise. There was nothing else to be done. I had already apologised profusely to my hubby who was was so gracious that it made me feel worse.
We had arranged to go racing at Fontwell Park and were meeting family there so I knew that I would be able to say sorry quickly which I did as soon as I saw everyone.I said sorry individually to each person and, I was very relieved when everyone accepted my apology. I also rang my father in law but he didn't answer his phone so I left a message for him.

The day at the races was great fun and a real tonic after the day before. The weather was cold and damp but we were wrapped up warm. Hubby loves going horse racing and looked the part in his cords, waxed jacket and flat cap. We had a few winners and the racing was good.We stood by the finish post so we had an excellent view. It was really exciting as the horses galloped past at speed. We left before the last race as we were all very cold by then and it was starting to get dark.

When we got home I got a roast dinner of sorts together and that was followed by Christmas pud and brandy butter which went down well and that was the day done.

So, that's my confession...warts and all. I can't add anymore really. What's done is done. Life goes on etc etc but the fact that I spoiled Christmas day for the person who loves me most in the world will live with me for a very long time.

Hopefully, none of you had anything similar going on.

Enjoy the next few quieter days before New Year's Eve is upon us and we herald in 2015.

Much love form a very humble and ashamed me

xxxxx