Hi all,
I hope you all had a very happy Christmas time with your loved ones and that you all enjoyed the festivities and had fun.
I've been thinking about whether to do this update or not but I think I have to as this blog is about my life in general and I have to be honest to do it justice and to make it worth my while. So, I have a confession to make.... on Christmas morning I was so hungover that I was not able to attend breakfast or the opening of presents. There, I've admitted it. My shame and embarrassment have haunted me over the last few days and I'm sort of hoping that putting it out there on this will, at least,open people's eyes to what I can be like and also to get it off my chest.
I was so looking forward to having our first Christmas in our new home and to be having most of the family around us. My Christmas Eve started wonderfully with a visit to my daughter and her family.The 4 grandchildren - ages from 5 years to 8 weeks - were on great form and were a joy to spend time with. They were allowed to open their presents from us as we weren't seeing them on the day and that was very special. There reactions were something I will treasure.
Then it was back home to prepare for the arrival of the rest of the family for the annual Christmas Eve quiz. I sorted the food and hubby made several trips to the railway station to pick up family. By 8 pm everyone had arrived and we started on the food (just nibbles and a chilli really), had a few drinks and got on with the quiz. I hadn't organised any quiz prizes and so had to run around and find some things that would be acceptable.' Frozen' mugs anyone?! It was the usual uproarious affair with lots of laughs and a few bones of contention regarding the answers but we all loved it. From there on was where it all went wrong for me.
I was having a great time, chatting, catching up and not thinking about what I was drinking. The night wore on. Various people drifted off to bed and I was left with music, two other 'merry' guests who were as happy to sing and dance as I was and the remote control. Unfortunately, the music got louder (Uptown Funk is a great to dance to when at full volume but probably not best at 2 in the morning) and things got a little out of hand, After several requests from other guests to please turn the volume down, we finally gave in and went to bed and that was it. The damage was done and I was obviously going to be a wreck the next morning.
I WAS a wreck the next morning. I could barely get out of bed, let alone prepare breakfast or eat or drink anything. I couldn't sit upright without feeling violently sick so I went back to bed and that is where I stayed pretty much all day to my shame. I didn't open a present or see anyone open theirs. Fortunately, all of the family were leaving to go for dinner elsewhere, Unfortunately, my father in law was coming for lunch and that couldn't be put off. There was also no way that I was going to be able to cook a dinner or eat anything. Oh, I cringe as I am writing this. It really is appalling.
Well, anyway, father in law arrived and I spent about 10 minutes trying to make conversation until hubby returned and then hubby got on and cooked the Christmas lunch which he had no idea that he was going to do and which he has never done before and I, yes, you've guessed it, went back to bed.
I did try to eat some lunch but it was a wasted effort and father in law started to eat, got a bad case of hiccups and couldn't eat after that. My poor husband. I felt so sorry for him. No amount of apologising is going to make up for this episode but he was a star and didn't moan, complain or get angry with me and I know, if the boot had been on the other foot, I would not have been so gracious.
Hubby took father in law home, walked the dog and then, finally, his work was done. My headache and nausea had subsided but I still couldn't eat anything. I still felt wretched but more because I had ruined people's day more than anything...and the fact that I had been such an idiot made me feel even worse.
Boxing Day morning arrived and I had been up since the early hours thinking about what I had done and how I was going to sort it out. All I could do was apologise. There was nothing else to be done. I had already apologised profusely to my hubby who was was so gracious that it made me feel worse.
We had arranged to go racing at Fontwell Park and were meeting family there so I knew that I would be able to say sorry quickly which I did as soon as I saw everyone.I said sorry individually to each person and, I was very relieved when everyone accepted my apology. I also rang my father in law but he didn't answer his phone so I left a message for him.
The day at the races was great fun and a real tonic after the day before. The weather was cold and damp but we were wrapped up warm. Hubby loves going horse racing and looked the part in his cords, waxed jacket and flat cap. We had a few winners and the racing was good.We stood by the finish post so we had an excellent view. It was really exciting as the horses galloped past at speed. We left before the last race as we were all very cold by then and it was starting to get dark.
When we got home I got a roast dinner of sorts together and that was followed by Christmas pud and brandy butter which went down well and that was the day done.
So, that's my confession...warts and all. I can't add anymore really. What's done is done. Life goes on etc etc but the fact that I spoiled Christmas day for the person who loves me most in the world will live with me for a very long time.
Hopefully, none of you had anything similar going on.
Enjoy the next few quieter days before New Year's Eve is upon us and we herald in 2015.
Much love form a very humble and ashamed me
xxxxx
Saturday, 27 December 2014
Sunday, 21 December 2014
Seasons Greetings!
Hi all and welcome to my last update before the big day. I'm typing this, bright and breezy, at 3.45 am would you believe?! I've been awake for a couple of hours and sleep is proving elusive so I thought I'd get up, have a cup of tea and make some mince pies. I'm sure that sounds ridiculous but once I'm awake that's it and why waste time? I can always go back to bed later if I want to.
I came downstairs a few minutes ago, made a cup of tea, gave a slice of bread to the dog and made myself a slice of toast with loads of Anchor butter spread over it (well, it is Christmas!) and turned on the oven in preparation for the mince pie onslaught. I went to turn the lamp on in the lounge and - the bulbs blew. It's one of those lamps with a reading light and a standard lamp so a two in one job and neither would work so I assumed it was the fuse. I was wrong but I only found out after I had changed the fuse. I then changed both bulbs and now all is well. All a bit unnecessary for this time of the morning I feel.
So here I am, typing away with Radio 2 and a dog on the sofa beside me keeping me company.
Are you all ready for the festivities? If you're anything like me, you will think that you are but then, like the advert on the TV, you will randomly think of something that you just have to have and, before you know it, there will be yet another list on the go. My latest list, composed an hour or so ago, contains just about every vegetable that you can think of, the odd bit of fruit and some cloves plus bread, croissants and pan au chocolate. Quite why I feel it necessary to have all of this 'just in case' is beyond me but it's the same thing every year.
I have spent the last week since work finished visiting friends and chasing my tail. The visiting has been lovely. I have caught up with several old clients who have long since become friends. I have indulged in tea, coffee, mince pies, hot chocolate and the odd lunch and I been so touched by people that have given me gifts and cards. People are so kind.
Saturday was a lovely, if hectic, day. I picked up my daughter and we went to catch up with some of the family at what has become an annual event. My sister hosts it every year and it's always lovely. Lots of food and drink and good company. Although we are a big family, or maybe because of it, we don't get together very often so it's always nice when it happens. There are always a few who can't make it but there are enough of us to make it worth while. There are always lots of children which is great. There is also quite often an addition to the family too so it's great to catch up and see how much the little ones have grown and how all of the adults are surviving!
After the catch up and via a visit to my brother and his family who were about to host their own street party, my daughter and I set off to London where we visited the South Bank and their winter festival. Oh, it was magical...and very, very busy. We indulged ourselves with mulled wine while we wondered around and looked at the various stalls and then went to pick up our tickets for a show at The Royal Festival Hall that I had booked earlier in the month.
Once we had picked up our tickets, we attempted to find somewhere to eat but everywhere was full so we grabbed a spiced lamb wrap each from one of the vendors and sat on a bench and watched the world go by while we enjoyed our food. I then fancied some candy floss so that was my next indulgence which I thoroughly enjoyed and then we grabbed a mulled cider each that had a toffee vodka shot in. Now that was good.
We took our hot drinks back into the crowded Festival Hall and listened to a group who were playing hi energy gypsy songs to rapturous applause for the hundreds of people who were scattered throughout the building. We found a corner to sit for a while and it happened to be a knitting corner! People were invited to sit and knit a square. Wool and needles provided. All of the squares were going to be stitched together to make blankets for the elderly. Well, I couldn't resist and had a go. I'm not a great knitter but I'm happy to have a go. I really, really enjoyed it and I will most definitely go back to the Festival Hall again. I've walked past it so many times and never set foot inside.
Then it was time to go to the show...The Slava Snow Show. I had no idea what to expect but the word 'snow' was in the title, it's Christmas, so why not? Well, it was really the most bizarre show I have ever seen. It was basically clowns! It was funny, sad, bonkers and memorable. I think there was supposed to be a storyline of sorts but, if there was, it was totally beyond us.
My brother had already seen the show when it was in Woking and he said that it's impossible to describe what it's like to someone who hasn't seen it. I think he is right. It's a visual experience more than anything but mainly it's bonkers. We loved it though and we laughed our heads off at the end because it was so weird.
Sunday saw me having a day at home and hubby a day at work. I enjoyed a nice walk with the dog in the morning and then really just pottered about. One of our next door neighbours popped round with some homemade glogg from his Norwegian family recipe and in the evening we were invited to go to another neighbours house where she was hosting what is apparently an annual get together for friends, family and neighbours. There was food and drink aplenty and it was a great opportunity to meet some more of the locals and put some names to the faces of people that I have started to wave or nod at when I see them!
I came downstairs a few minutes ago, made a cup of tea, gave a slice of bread to the dog and made myself a slice of toast with loads of Anchor butter spread over it (well, it is Christmas!) and turned on the oven in preparation for the mince pie onslaught. I went to turn the lamp on in the lounge and - the bulbs blew. It's one of those lamps with a reading light and a standard lamp so a two in one job and neither would work so I assumed it was the fuse. I was wrong but I only found out after I had changed the fuse. I then changed both bulbs and now all is well. All a bit unnecessary for this time of the morning I feel.
So here I am, typing away with Radio 2 and a dog on the sofa beside me keeping me company.
Are you all ready for the festivities? If you're anything like me, you will think that you are but then, like the advert on the TV, you will randomly think of something that you just have to have and, before you know it, there will be yet another list on the go. My latest list, composed an hour or so ago, contains just about every vegetable that you can think of, the odd bit of fruit and some cloves plus bread, croissants and pan au chocolate. Quite why I feel it necessary to have all of this 'just in case' is beyond me but it's the same thing every year.
I have spent the last week since work finished visiting friends and chasing my tail. The visiting has been lovely. I have caught up with several old clients who have long since become friends. I have indulged in tea, coffee, mince pies, hot chocolate and the odd lunch and I been so touched by people that have given me gifts and cards. People are so kind.
Saturday was a lovely, if hectic, day. I picked up my daughter and we went to catch up with some of the family at what has become an annual event. My sister hosts it every year and it's always lovely. Lots of food and drink and good company. Although we are a big family, or maybe because of it, we don't get together very often so it's always nice when it happens. There are always a few who can't make it but there are enough of us to make it worth while. There are always lots of children which is great. There is also quite often an addition to the family too so it's great to catch up and see how much the little ones have grown and how all of the adults are surviving!
After the catch up and via a visit to my brother and his family who were about to host their own street party, my daughter and I set off to London where we visited the South Bank and their winter festival. Oh, it was magical...and very, very busy. We indulged ourselves with mulled wine while we wondered around and looked at the various stalls and then went to pick up our tickets for a show at The Royal Festival Hall that I had booked earlier in the month.
Once we had picked up our tickets, we attempted to find somewhere to eat but everywhere was full so we grabbed a spiced lamb wrap each from one of the vendors and sat on a bench and watched the world go by while we enjoyed our food. I then fancied some candy floss so that was my next indulgence which I thoroughly enjoyed and then we grabbed a mulled cider each that had a toffee vodka shot in. Now that was good.
We took our hot drinks back into the crowded Festival Hall and listened to a group who were playing hi energy gypsy songs to rapturous applause for the hundreds of people who were scattered throughout the building. We found a corner to sit for a while and it happened to be a knitting corner! People were invited to sit and knit a square. Wool and needles provided. All of the squares were going to be stitched together to make blankets for the elderly. Well, I couldn't resist and had a go. I'm not a great knitter but I'm happy to have a go. I really, really enjoyed it and I will most definitely go back to the Festival Hall again. I've walked past it so many times and never set foot inside.
Then it was time to go to the show...The Slava Snow Show. I had no idea what to expect but the word 'snow' was in the title, it's Christmas, so why not? Well, it was really the most bizarre show I have ever seen. It was basically clowns! It was funny, sad, bonkers and memorable. I think there was supposed to be a storyline of sorts but, if there was, it was totally beyond us.
My brother had already seen the show when it was in Woking and he said that it's impossible to describe what it's like to someone who hasn't seen it. I think he is right. It's a visual experience more than anything but mainly it's bonkers. We loved it though and we laughed our heads off at the end because it was so weird.
Well, I had better go and make some mince pies as the oven has been on for an hour.
I wish you all the happiest of Christmases. I hope that you get to spend it in the way that you want to, be it surrounded by family, with friends or quietly on your own.
Much love to you all xxxx
Sunday, 14 December 2014
Special Children
Hi all,
So another busy week in the life of me comes to an end and I'm typing this with yet another headache which is not good. Off to the doctors for me if I can get an appointment. It will be my first visit to our new doctor which is a bit daunting as I had a wonderful doctor back in Guildford who knew me and my family very well and who we all felt very comfortable with.
This last week has seen me work two extra 12 hour night shifts to cover for a poorly colleague and, boy, was I happy to get to Friday and the end of term! As you can imagine, working in a boarding school you get a lot of the same illnesses presenting themselves as the children pass bugs from one to another very easily. This term has seen the usual run of sore throats and colds and, just during the last few days before the end of term, a bout of vomiting which made my last night busy when I could have done with it being quiet but there you are, that's how it goes and that's my job.
I have also been to the nativity plays of two of my grandchildren which was really lovely. There is nothing like a nativity to get me in the Christmas groove and hearing little ones sing 'Away In a Manger' has always, and still does, move me to tears. I was so happy to see them, and all of their school mates, singing their hearts out, speaking their parts clearly and flapping their angel wings with such grace. A magical time for this Nanny!
I think that I have mentioned before that two of my children were born with a genetic condition. That condition is called Stickler Syndrome, a relatively rare, non-life threatening condition that can affect hearing, sight and joints along with causing cleft palates. I doubt that any of you will have heard of this condition unless you know someone who has it.
I had never heard of Stickler until a few days after my first daughter was born. She was very poorly and ended up being diagnosed by fax machine by Great Ormond Street hospital when she was 2 days old. There was no internet back then and the fax machine was the latest thing in communication!
Once diagnosed, my daughter stayed in the special care unit for 6 weeks. She had various complications that needed treatment and observation but eventually we were able to take her home.
Various surgeries took place over the early years for her and I also had another baby girl who also had the same condition, although she wasn't as badly affected as her older sister.
The early and school years were difficult times for my girls and for us all as they were statemented for special educational needs, were told that they weren't allowed to take part in certain school activities (swimming!!) due to basic health and safety concerns and both suffered from various forms of bullying because of how they looked, talked etc etc.
This is really only a very, very brief synopsis of what it was like for them and therefore for us as we struggled in our own ways to deal with the constant issues that Stickler kept throwing in our way.
Ear surgery, palate repairs, detached retina, cataracts and nose reconstructive surgery were just some of the physical traumas that my girls had to go through.
Now both of my girls are grown women and married. The horrible thing about Stickler is that is is genetic. There is a 50/50 chance that any child that either of the girls give birth to will also have Stickler Syndrome and there is nothing that can be done to influence that statistic. One of the girls has recently given birth to her 4th baby and, absolutely amazingly, none of the four little ones appear to have inherited the condition which is miraculous to me and I will be forever grateful for that.
The mum of the little ones is now suffering with one of the curve balls that Stickler can throw at you - cataracts on both eyes. Her vision is severely limited. Reading and watching TV is virtually impossible for her at the moment. I have no idea how she copes day to day with 4 little people when her sight is so impaired but she does. She hasn't complained about it. There has been no 'Why me?' from her, just relief and a little guilt that she hasn't suffered as much as her older sister has done over the years.
Shortly after Christmas my daughter will be admitted to hospital for surgery to both eyes. She will have 3 lots of general anesthetic and will in hospital for at least 5 days. She will have a littlest baby with her and the other little three will be at home with Daddy, Nanny, Grandma, uncles, aunties, friends - whoever can pitch in and help out.
Anyone who knows me or who reads this blog occasionally will know just how much I love my family but my children are my 'babies' and I never want any of them to suffer any pain or to be unhappy. When things go wrong for any of them I vaguely feel responsible (I know that I'm not and I know that it's stupid!) and I wish that I had a magic wand to make everything better but I don't.
Stickler Syndrome came into my life when I was 23 years old and it is never going to go away. I wish that I had never heard of it and I hate the impact that it has had on the lives of my children and our family but, and it's a big but, my children are incredibly brave and resilient - all four of them, but especially my eldest two who have had more to put up with than anyone should ever have to to be honest.
Before I get too emotional about it all I had better go otherwise I will be embarrassing myself and my kids but I just want people to know how brave and strong my children are. To my eldest two, you are amazing. You just get on with your lives no matter what and I don't know where you get the strength from. Nobody would ever know from just meeting you and talking to you what you have gone through and that says more than I ever could. To my youngest two, you always, always look out for your sisters and you always have done. I know that it hasn't always been easy for you and I know that your childhoods, especially, were sprinkled with Stickler related incidents that affected you both because your sisters were poorly but look at us all all....still here, still a family, still together.
Have a good week everyone
A xx
So another busy week in the life of me comes to an end and I'm typing this with yet another headache which is not good. Off to the doctors for me if I can get an appointment. It will be my first visit to our new doctor which is a bit daunting as I had a wonderful doctor back in Guildford who knew me and my family very well and who we all felt very comfortable with.
This last week has seen me work two extra 12 hour night shifts to cover for a poorly colleague and, boy, was I happy to get to Friday and the end of term! As you can imagine, working in a boarding school you get a lot of the same illnesses presenting themselves as the children pass bugs from one to another very easily. This term has seen the usual run of sore throats and colds and, just during the last few days before the end of term, a bout of vomiting which made my last night busy when I could have done with it being quiet but there you are, that's how it goes and that's my job.
I have also been to the nativity plays of two of my grandchildren which was really lovely. There is nothing like a nativity to get me in the Christmas groove and hearing little ones sing 'Away In a Manger' has always, and still does, move me to tears. I was so happy to see them, and all of their school mates, singing their hearts out, speaking their parts clearly and flapping their angel wings with such grace. A magical time for this Nanny!
I think that I have mentioned before that two of my children were born with a genetic condition. That condition is called Stickler Syndrome, a relatively rare, non-life threatening condition that can affect hearing, sight and joints along with causing cleft palates. I doubt that any of you will have heard of this condition unless you know someone who has it.
I had never heard of Stickler until a few days after my first daughter was born. She was very poorly and ended up being diagnosed by fax machine by Great Ormond Street hospital when she was 2 days old. There was no internet back then and the fax machine was the latest thing in communication!
Once diagnosed, my daughter stayed in the special care unit for 6 weeks. She had various complications that needed treatment and observation but eventually we were able to take her home.
Various surgeries took place over the early years for her and I also had another baby girl who also had the same condition, although she wasn't as badly affected as her older sister.
The early and school years were difficult times for my girls and for us all as they were statemented for special educational needs, were told that they weren't allowed to take part in certain school activities (swimming!!) due to basic health and safety concerns and both suffered from various forms of bullying because of how they looked, talked etc etc.
This is really only a very, very brief synopsis of what it was like for them and therefore for us as we struggled in our own ways to deal with the constant issues that Stickler kept throwing in our way.
Ear surgery, palate repairs, detached retina, cataracts and nose reconstructive surgery were just some of the physical traumas that my girls had to go through.
Now both of my girls are grown women and married. The horrible thing about Stickler is that is is genetic. There is a 50/50 chance that any child that either of the girls give birth to will also have Stickler Syndrome and there is nothing that can be done to influence that statistic. One of the girls has recently given birth to her 4th baby and, absolutely amazingly, none of the four little ones appear to have inherited the condition which is miraculous to me and I will be forever grateful for that.
The mum of the little ones is now suffering with one of the curve balls that Stickler can throw at you - cataracts on both eyes. Her vision is severely limited. Reading and watching TV is virtually impossible for her at the moment. I have no idea how she copes day to day with 4 little people when her sight is so impaired but she does. She hasn't complained about it. There has been no 'Why me?' from her, just relief and a little guilt that she hasn't suffered as much as her older sister has done over the years.
Shortly after Christmas my daughter will be admitted to hospital for surgery to both eyes. She will have 3 lots of general anesthetic and will in hospital for at least 5 days. She will have a littlest baby with her and the other little three will be at home with Daddy, Nanny, Grandma, uncles, aunties, friends - whoever can pitch in and help out.
Anyone who knows me or who reads this blog occasionally will know just how much I love my family but my children are my 'babies' and I never want any of them to suffer any pain or to be unhappy. When things go wrong for any of them I vaguely feel responsible (I know that I'm not and I know that it's stupid!) and I wish that I had a magic wand to make everything better but I don't.
Stickler Syndrome came into my life when I was 23 years old and it is never going to go away. I wish that I had never heard of it and I hate the impact that it has had on the lives of my children and our family but, and it's a big but, my children are incredibly brave and resilient - all four of them, but especially my eldest two who have had more to put up with than anyone should ever have to to be honest.
Before I get too emotional about it all I had better go otherwise I will be embarrassing myself and my kids but I just want people to know how brave and strong my children are. To my eldest two, you are amazing. You just get on with your lives no matter what and I don't know where you get the strength from. Nobody would ever know from just meeting you and talking to you what you have gone through and that says more than I ever could. To my youngest two, you always, always look out for your sisters and you always have done. I know that it hasn't always been easy for you and I know that your childhoods, especially, were sprinkled with Stickler related incidents that affected you both because your sisters were poorly but look at us all all....still here, still a family, still together.
Have a good week everyone
A xx
Friday, 5 December 2014
Good Times, Bad Times (not that bad!)
Hi everyone.
It's a been a strange old week really. Good things and not so good things. Such is life.
On the up side, this week has seen us take delivery of our new dining table (Monday), our new sofabed (Tuesday) and our new dining chairs (Wednesday). I have no idea why the table and chairs came separately and nor did the delivery driver who asked us if we'd ordered them at separate times and who rolled his eyes when we told him they were all ordered together!
The dining 'suite' looks lovely and I'm really happy with it but my current love is the sofabed which I haven't even opened up to see how it works because I just love it as a sofa. It's green, textured and really comfy to sit on. It has pride of place in what I like to call 'the family room' and which used to be a granny flat. There is not much else in there at present but I intend to make it a bright, colourful comfy room where the grandchildren can play when they come and a room that I can go to when hubby is watching the football or when I want so space. The only issue at the moment is that it does get chilly in there despite the radiator and lined curtains so I envisage getting a tv and some sort of music system in there, a throw or two and I will be very happy in there.
In fact, there is also a dolls house and a toy box in there and I'm not sure whether they will stay there or not. The toy box is actually a black trunk that apparently used to belong to my Grandad and who used it on his many and various travels. I remember it being in my Nan's sitting room and it being full of blankets and the odd bag of sugar that was in short supply at the time. Nan was used to rationing and so on throughout the war years so any mention of a shortage of anything would see her rush out and get as much of the item as she could just in case.
Our dining table and chairs have seen hubby and I have a couple of nice lunches together. It's amazing how nice it is to sit at a table and eat. We have just got used to eating off of a tray on our laps. I also sat and wrote my Christmas cards at the table the other evening whilst listening to Christmas songs via Spotify on our fabulous Tivo box.
The more rubbish side of the week has seen me struggling with a headache from hell for two days after drinking two glasses of red wine and eating cheese. I really very seldom drink wine these days and I've never been a lover of red wine so I'm not sure what possessed me. It was there and I fancied a drink so I drank it. I should have had a cup of tea instead to be honest.
The headache/migraine was so persistent that I ended up at the local pharmacy asking for strong over the counter painkillers. They suggested Panadol which seemed to do the trick and stopped the intensity of the pain but even now, Friday evening and 3 days later, I am still not feeling 100%.
I have been feeling lethargic and a bit out of sorts for a few weeks. I don't feel ill but I do feel flat. Now, I have stopped taking the antidepressants that I was on...I weaned myself off of them very slowly...so my lethargy could be to do with that maybe but I don't feel depressed, just flat.
I'm tired a lot of the time...actually, not tired, just weary.. and everything feels like a bit of an effort but I also think that maybe it's the time of year - lots of sad memories, dreary weather and dull days. I know that I am a really fortunate person and think, therefore, that I should be happy all the time. I'm not unhappy but I feel that I ought to be exuding energy that I just don't have. Now, I'm not sure that I have ever been that energetic. I have always needed something to focus on to get me motivated and I do think that I have often felt like this so I'm sure it will pass.
I am so very grateful for my life, for my health and for my family that I feel that I should be bouncing full of energy all of the time and I fret when I'm not, but maybe it's just me.
So that was not the promised more upbeat blog entry was it?! Sorry about that folks. It's just how it is. When I type these entries I type from the heart and I really just type how I feel. I think that there has been such a lot of exciting stuff happening to me that, at some point, there comes a realization that exciting things can't just keep on happening. Quiet time, down time is good. It allows me to think more about things (not always good!) and to pace myself instead of crashing on through each day trying to organize everyone and everything.
Life is amazing and I never want to take a day of it for granted. I feel like I should be loving life every minute of every day but I just don't have the energy sometimes...and, also, I am 54 so maybe my energy supplies are running a little low and my batteries take longer to recharge. I don't think about my age, or I try not to, but it must have an effect don't you think? I probably need to focus more on what I'm putting into my body and should also look after it better, listen to it when it shouts at me and treat it with the love it deserves. It has done pretty well so far with little maintenance from me so maybe now is the time for me to pay back some of its loyalty.
Have a great weekend everyone. Soon be Christmas!
Until next time,
xxxxx
It's a been a strange old week really. Good things and not so good things. Such is life.
On the up side, this week has seen us take delivery of our new dining table (Monday), our new sofabed (Tuesday) and our new dining chairs (Wednesday). I have no idea why the table and chairs came separately and nor did the delivery driver who asked us if we'd ordered them at separate times and who rolled his eyes when we told him they were all ordered together!
The dining 'suite' looks lovely and I'm really happy with it but my current love is the sofabed which I haven't even opened up to see how it works because I just love it as a sofa. It's green, textured and really comfy to sit on. It has pride of place in what I like to call 'the family room' and which used to be a granny flat. There is not much else in there at present but I intend to make it a bright, colourful comfy room where the grandchildren can play when they come and a room that I can go to when hubby is watching the football or when I want so space. The only issue at the moment is that it does get chilly in there despite the radiator and lined curtains so I envisage getting a tv and some sort of music system in there, a throw or two and I will be very happy in there.
In fact, there is also a dolls house and a toy box in there and I'm not sure whether they will stay there or not. The toy box is actually a black trunk that apparently used to belong to my Grandad and who used it on his many and various travels. I remember it being in my Nan's sitting room and it being full of blankets and the odd bag of sugar that was in short supply at the time. Nan was used to rationing and so on throughout the war years so any mention of a shortage of anything would see her rush out and get as much of the item as she could just in case.
Our dining table and chairs have seen hubby and I have a couple of nice lunches together. It's amazing how nice it is to sit at a table and eat. We have just got used to eating off of a tray on our laps. I also sat and wrote my Christmas cards at the table the other evening whilst listening to Christmas songs via Spotify on our fabulous Tivo box.
The more rubbish side of the week has seen me struggling with a headache from hell for two days after drinking two glasses of red wine and eating cheese. I really very seldom drink wine these days and I've never been a lover of red wine so I'm not sure what possessed me. It was there and I fancied a drink so I drank it. I should have had a cup of tea instead to be honest.
The headache/migraine was so persistent that I ended up at the local pharmacy asking for strong over the counter painkillers. They suggested Panadol which seemed to do the trick and stopped the intensity of the pain but even now, Friday evening and 3 days later, I am still not feeling 100%.
I have been feeling lethargic and a bit out of sorts for a few weeks. I don't feel ill but I do feel flat. Now, I have stopped taking the antidepressants that I was on...I weaned myself off of them very slowly...so my lethargy could be to do with that maybe but I don't feel depressed, just flat.
I'm tired a lot of the time...actually, not tired, just weary.. and everything feels like a bit of an effort but I also think that maybe it's the time of year - lots of sad memories, dreary weather and dull days. I know that I am a really fortunate person and think, therefore, that I should be happy all the time. I'm not unhappy but I feel that I ought to be exuding energy that I just don't have. Now, I'm not sure that I have ever been that energetic. I have always needed something to focus on to get me motivated and I do think that I have often felt like this so I'm sure it will pass.
I am so very grateful for my life, for my health and for my family that I feel that I should be bouncing full of energy all of the time and I fret when I'm not, but maybe it's just me.
So that was not the promised more upbeat blog entry was it?! Sorry about that folks. It's just how it is. When I type these entries I type from the heart and I really just type how I feel. I think that there has been such a lot of exciting stuff happening to me that, at some point, there comes a realization that exciting things can't just keep on happening. Quiet time, down time is good. It allows me to think more about things (not always good!) and to pace myself instead of crashing on through each day trying to organize everyone and everything.
Life is amazing and I never want to take a day of it for granted. I feel like I should be loving life every minute of every day but I just don't have the energy sometimes...and, also, I am 54 so maybe my energy supplies are running a little low and my batteries take longer to recharge. I don't think about my age, or I try not to, but it must have an effect don't you think? I probably need to focus more on what I'm putting into my body and should also look after it better, listen to it when it shouts at me and treat it with the love it deserves. It has done pretty well so far with little maintenance from me so maybe now is the time for me to pay back some of its loyalty.
Have a great weekend everyone. Soon be Christmas!
Oh, and another bit of good news....we received these today! We completed a survey and our name went in to a draw and we won. Hurrah!
Until next time,
xxxxx
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