Hello folks,
I have just watched a programme on ITV called 'Wanted: A Family of My Own' about the stress, anxiety, decisions and delights of adoption and fostering. I loved the programme and, if it's aim is to get people to want to foster, then the aim is achieved with me. If I could go and foster a child that needs a home I would do it right now.
However, as we all know, it's not that simple. So much red tape is involved in the process and it must be so very frustrating for everyone involved from the social worker to the prospective parents. But to see the joy on the faces of the parents in this programme after waiting for 5 years to be told they could go ahead and adopt was wonderful. To see them meet their son for the first time was even better.
I feel very, very fortunate to have been able to have my own family without any problems and I used to take it for granted that I could have a baby whenever I chose to. It was only meeting people who had problems and who went through all sorts of medical procedures in their efforts to become parents that I realised just how lucky I was.
The programme took me back to my own childhood when my Mum and Dad decided that they would like to foster children who were looking for a family until a suitable placement was found for them.
We had three babies who came to us in need of a safe haven. Two girls and a boy. The first arrival was Daniel who was about 4 months old. He was a delightful baby and very responsive. I don't know how long he stayed with us for...I would guess about 8 weeks or so....but, in that short space of time my Dad, and all of us but Dad in particular, grew to love the little lad. When it was time for Daniel to move on, I remember Dad being really upset.
We then had a little girl called Jeanette who I remember crying all the time. She didn't stay with us for long I don't think.
Then we had Julie who was a tiny baby. I believe she lived locally to us and her mother had died in childbirth. She was another adorable little thing but she was a baby and she was only with us for a short while.
I'm sure that Mum was the prime mover in the fostering thing. She was a nursery nurse and loved children and I'm sure that she wanted to do all she could for the children that needed help. Bearing in mind that she also had 3 youngish children of her own to look after, I think it was a very selfless thing to do.
As a consequence of the fostering, we later welcomed an older boy into our home. He was a year older than me so I was no longer the eldest. He came as another short term foster case and stayed....stayed a very long time in fact because he is now my big brother and has been so for the last 48 years or so!
So Mum (and Dad) did a great thing with their fostering experience and I am very proud of them both for setting such a great example to us. It certainly taught us not to take anything for granted in life that is for sure.
Onto fear and anxiety...very briefly you will be pleased to know!
Previous blog posts have alluded to my anxiety issues which have been prevalent in my life for more years than I care to remember. If there is something to worry about I will worry obsessively and if there is nothing to worry about I will find something. This, luckily, is only the case when I am feeling stressed or anxious. Unfortunately, that has been most of my adult life!
I have tried many many therapies and medications to alleviate my stress levels and nothing has really worked long term for me. However, I am currently taking a daily dose of antidepressants and I have to say that they are really working for me at the moment.
I knew I was feeling less stressed day to day because I wasn't facing every situation with a knot in my stomach and adrenalin pumping through my veins giving me palpitations. I am also very, very prone to 'blotching'.....bright red patches on my face, neck, arms and chest when I am stressed and anxious and it's a real giveaway sign. I get the same symptoms from drinking alcohol strangely enough!
Today saw me go to a routine GP appointment and I always, always get stressed when I'm in the waiting room at the surgery. By the time I am called into the doctor's room I am normally blotchy and embarrassed and a right old mess to be truthful. However, today I saw the doc and he asked me how I was and I said that I was feeling really good which is true. At the end of my appointment I was amazed to find that I didn't have a single blotch on me! This is a first. And I was wearing a short sleeved t shirt with a round neck so any blotches would have been very obvious. I said to the doc 'Look! No blotches!'. He smiled. He knows what an achievement that is.
Now, I'm not saying that anti depressants are the answer for everyone and I know that there are often underlying issues that need addressing and so on and so forth but, for me, they are helping enormously and I'm thrilled to be feeling so positive.
Happy days indeed!
Much love
xxxxxxx
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