When Only Mum Will Do

Hi everyone.

I'm not setting out with this blog post to be sentimental or anything despite the title but I think it may end up that way anyway.

I have spent a lot of this last week accompanying my daughter to various hospital appointments all of which have been routine and all of which have been to check on her health and the growth of her unborn babies before they make their appearance into our lives and onto this planet of ours. This has meant that we have both had time to talk things through - she has felt relaxed enough and comfortable enough to ask me questions (not all of which I had the answers to) and I have done my best to reassure her. I have been with her for blood tests, heart monitors, blood pressure checks and all of the other bits and pieces that the medical team needed to be sure about. 

It has been lovely for me to have some quality time with just her. This is not meant as any negative comment aimed at all of the wonderful people that she has around to support her who include her ever calm and supportive husband and his family or her friends. She knows that she is very lucky to have these people in her life and she also knows how important they are going to be over the coming months when the babies finally arrive and her life is changed completely.

I'm talking here about my eldest daughter who, as a newborn herself, was very poorly and who has faced more than her fair share of trauma and ill health. I'm talking here about my daughter who we were told may never walk, may never talk and may never be able to go to mainstream school. I'm talking about my daughter who will never be able to drive because her eyesight is too poor but who decided to travel to India and work with children for 3 months. I'm talking about my daughter who decided to go to University 100's of miles away from us where she didn't know a soul and who eventually had to withdraw from her teacher training course after 2 years only because she wasn't able to access the course sufficiently due to lack of expertise from the learning support department. I'm talking here about my daughter who, despite various health setbacks, has always worked hard and been in full time employment. I'm talking about my daughter who is a brilliant big sister to her younger sisters and brothers and who was the apple of her late grandparents eyes.

While spending time with my daughter, I have been frequently reminded of my relationship with my own Mum. I cannot begin to imagine the worry and the anxiety that I caused her over the years. My Mum was always my 'go to' person when things got too much for me especially after my daughter was born and I was floundering in a constant state of panic. My Mum would reassure me, talk to me on the phone for hours, she would make me my favourite food when I couldn't face cooking, she would look after my daugher when I needed a break. I could turn up at her house at any time of the day or night and I knew that she would be there, that she would be able to make me feel better, that she would tell me that it was all going to be ok and that I WOULD be able to cope despite my own feelings of inadequacy.

My Mum had young children of her own when I started my family. My young brother and sister were about 6 and 4 years old respectively at that time and my Mum was in her 40's so she must have been really tired but I don't ever remember her telling me that she couldn't spare the time for me or that she was too busy to listen to me or help me.

Now I know that time is a healer and that we all tend to look back with rose coloured glasses at our lives. I'm sure there were times when Mum really didn't have the time or the energy to support me and my family but I have to say that I don't remember any such occasion. If anyone does, please don't tell me. Let me remember things how I think they were! 

There have been many times this past week especially, although many, many times over the last 8 or so years, when I would have given anything to have been able to tell my Mum about what is going on. I know that she would be so very excited for my daughter and the prospect of twin great grandchildren. My daughter was the first in a long line of grandchildren for my Mum. Having said that, she did have twin grandsons thanks to my brother and his wife. Those twin boys are now at secondary school and thriving! 

My sister just phoned me and we have been nattering away for about half an hour so I have lost my thread a bit. Suffice to say that my sister knows me very well and I have just got a bit tearful several times whilst on the phone to her.

Anyway, the jist of this post is really to say that our mums are special....at least mine was. There is never a day that goes by that I don't think of her. As a mum myself I know that I would do anything for any of my four without thinking about it. Spending time with my daughter this week has brought me the realisation that I am trying to do for my daughter exactly what my Mum did for me....be there, be supportive, help when I can and try desperately not say too much, to be critical or judgemental and let my children learn for themselves. It's not always easy!

Thank you to my Mum for showing me the way even if I didn't realise it until much, much later. Thank you to my daughter for being such a star and for being amazing, thank you to my other three for being you and thank you to my sister who always knows instinctively what to say and who knows when I need her - usually when I don't even realise it myself.

Have a good week folks and stay safe and be happy.

Xxxxxx

Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am! (Suffragette City)

Hi everyone.

In a week when I rejoined Weight Watchers after a 7 year break, when I met up with friends, when I rode a bike for the first time in years and when a plumber came to fix the downstairs loo and we heard of the death of the wonderful actor Alan Rickman,  there was really only one topic that I could write about...the unexpected and untimely passing of David Bowie to cancer at the age of 69 and just a few days after his birthday too. FYI, I still have to stop my self pronouncing his name as Bowie as in wowee and have to remember to refer to him as David Bowie as in Zoe.

I have been saddened by his death but have used it as an excuse to listen to loads of his music that, in truth, I haven't heard in many a year and I have loved it! I have even made my own Spotify playlist: 

https://open.spotify.com/user/angfisher/playlist/3AIrKZxnpxNHpPVCrDT8h0

I have been immersing myself in the albums that we had at home when we were kids....Ziggy, Diamond Dogs, Hunky Dory to name a few.
Those were the albums that were played by my parents and their friends at all hours of the day and night and I'm so very glad they did. What a musical education we were given. Along with Bowie, we had albums by Elton John, Bob Dylan, Tom Paxton and Cat Stevens, John Lennon et al which we heard time and again. When I listened to Station To Station the other day via Spotify I was surprised by how much of the album I actually knew the words to and yet I have no recollection of hearing it before. Mum and Dad must have had it and played it.

The day that Bowie's death was announced I was due to do a food shop and so, as I wandered up and down the aisles of the supermarket, I came across the CDs that they had for sale. My car is not equipped with anything that I can play mp3s through and so, very occasionally, I will buy a CD that I can play while I'm driving. At home CD's are a thing of the past as all of our music comes from Spotify etc and played through bluetooth speakers or similar. In fact the last CD that I purchased was 'Positive Songs For Negative People' by Frank Turner and I only brought that because I was meeting him and wanted him to sign it for me!
Anyway, the CD selection in the supermarket was limited but they had a selection of Bowie albums there for £5 each. I couldn't resist and splashed the cash on the aforementioned Ziggy, Diamond Dogs and Hunky Dory and have loved playing them at full volume when I have been driving about.

Hearing those album tracks transported me back to my younger days. I can almost hear Mum chatting about Bowie. She loved him! I can't quite hear her singing his songs - in fact I don't recall her singing at all - but she really had a thing for Bowie. He was so unusual, so intelligent, so intriguing. He was just her cup of tea! It made me smile when I received a text from my stepdad on the day of Bowie's death saying that he had no doubt that Mum would already have found him and had a chat with him. I don't doubt it for a minute.

I also tried to make a list of my top 10 Bowie songs but it was an impossible task for me. I love so many of them...'Kooks', 'Quicksand' and 'Life on Mars?' from Hunky Dory, '5 Years' and 'Suffragette City' from Ziggy Stardust. Then there is the wonderful 'Heroes' which will always remind me of the 2012 Olympic Games in London. The 'Young Americans' album has some great stuff on it too and 'Can You Hear Me?' is my favourite track from it I think.
However, when I listened to the 'Diamond Dogs' album I knew that there were 5 tracks in a row that I absolutely love. Well, I used to love them but would I still feel the same after a gap of about 20 years since I last heard them?
I sat in the car, put the CD in the player and waited. First there came the spoken words of 'Future Legend' with the sound of cats howling and then ....BOOM!....track 2, 'Diamond Dogs'. It was brilliant to hear it again. Then came the tracks that I really wanted to hear again...'Sweet Thing', straight into 'Candidate' and then into 'Sweet Thing (Reprise). My God, it was as good as I remembered and had hoped. And then the final chords of the reprise crashed straight into 'Rebel Rebel'. It's about 20 minutes (or all of side one on the vinyl LP!) of absolutely fantastic stuff and I have played it to death as the people that live with me will testify I'm sure.

My niece put up a post to say that Bowie was the kind of figure that you always felt would be around for ever and I know what she means. Although he had been out of the public eye for about 10 years or so, he was still there. For myself and for people of my generation who were lucky enough to have been surrounded by his music for a long time I think his death has come as a shock but, for me, it has lead to me rediscovering the music of my youth, to remembering happy times.

I never had to opportunity to experience his live shows but my hubby did see him in 1973 at the Guildford Civic Hall on the 'Ziggy Stardust' tour. Apparently, Bowie gave his last performance as Ziggy a few days later at a show in London. I didn't got to Live Aid or any of the stadium shows that were big in the 80's/90's that Bowie appeared at but I do remember him giving an mesmerising performance of  'Under Pressure' with Annie Lennox at the Freddie Mercury Wembley gig. i recall watching it on TV. A youtube video of it was put on Facebook the other day and it was wonderful to
see it again. Take a look for yourselves:

Under Pressure. David Bowie - Annie Lennox - The Freddie ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ildVYgYWPqc

That's enough from me for now. Enjoy your week, stay safe and well. Thank you Mr. Bowie.

xxxxxx

Nigella and Me

"Hi all.

It's been another hectic week which went something like this:

Dog to the vets - prescribed antibiotics for 3 weeks for a nasty area on his back leg. Cost = £130.

Daughter to her scan. Mum and babies appear well.

Letters written to our credit company following our debacle with it in New York and to The Financial Ombudsman regarding another ongoing issue.

Emails exchanged regarding the sleepers for my beach hut which were agreed to be replaced by the council almost a year ago but which still have not materialised.

The frustrating amount of time wasted trying to track down a local plumber who is willing and able to carry out a few minor (I hope) repairs while our downstairs loo continues to fill with water following flushing and doesn't really stop! A plumber is promised for tomorrow (Monday). Fingers crossed.

Nephew's birthday. He was 4.

Sister's birthday. I won't say how old she is but she's younger than me!

An overnight stay in London after seeing the glorious David Tennant in Richard 11 at The Barbican.

All this and so much more!

The dog is on the mend and my daughter remains well. There has been no response to our letters but these things take time. My beach hut needs to be emptied before the council will replace the sleepers so that is on my list of things to do next week. My nephew was happy with his pyjamas...and they fit despite being 'slimfit'  which I got by mistake. My sister and I will spend the day together sometime soon in a late birthday celebration once I have given her a list of days out that she can choose from. David Tennant did not disappoint in his revisited role as Richard 11. I find him mesmerising and incredibly watchable. Gorgeous too!

Probably the most exciting thing that happened this week...which will show just how sad I really am...was that Nigella Lawson, yes, THE Nigella, put a photograph of my beach hut on her Instagram page because she was sent it and and she liked it so much. Now, I didn't send it to her I hasten to add. She was sent it in celebration of her birthday by a design company. I did contact them because I thought that the photo was one that I had taken and I wasn't sure how they got hold of it. However, they say that one of their directors was on holiday in Hampshire over the Christmas holiday, saw the hut and photographed it. Subsequently, as Nigella's favourite colours are pink and green and she has been all over the TV and is quite high profile at the moment, they sent the photo to her.

I do like Instagram and I check it quite often. Nigella Lawson is one of the people that I 'follow'. You can only imagine my surprise when I clicked onto my Instagram app and a picture of my hut popped up on Nigella's page. I had to look at it twice to realise what was going on. There was my hut in all of its pink and green (and rust stained) glory for all of the followers of Nigella to see. When I last looked it had over 4,200 'likes'.
Nigella was very complimentary about my hut and I did message her to let her know that it's mine and where it's based. She got back to me and simply said 'It's beautiful!'. See for yourselves what I'm referring to...

To be honest, it's not a very good photo I don't think...or it is but it is showing up the work that I need to do when the Spring arrives. That paintwork definitely needs some attention. It looked like this in the Summer....

That's it for now. I'm off to Weightwatchers later this week for the first time in about 5 years. I think that's going to be a shock to the system.

Have a good week. Stay warm and stay safe.

xxxxx

New Year In New York

Hi all.

A very belated happy new year to you all. I hope you all had a nice time celebrating the dawn of 2016 and I wish you all a wonderful, happy and healthy year. I hope it brings you all peace and everything that you dream of.

Hubby and I have had an amazing few days. On Dec 28th we packed a bag each and set off for Gatwick airport where we caught a flight to JFK airport in New York! This was to be our first time in the city having only been to Florida on previous visits to the States. To say that we had a wonderful time would be an understatement. I really have difficulty finding the words to express the feelings that I experienced while I was there.

We were met at the airport by a pre booked driver who took us to our hotel in Times Square....yes, Times Square! Our payment card was declined by the driver but we thought little of it and went to reception to book in only to find that we had been dropped at the wrong hotel. We had to find our way along Broadway and across Times Square with our luggage and little clue of where we were going at 10pm but we did it. When we went to book in at reception we were told that our room booking had been cancelled due to an issue with our credit card. I was not a happy bunny. Where on earth were we going to find a room for 3 nights at such short notice...in Times Square....two days before New Years Eve?! Anyway, a room was found and we settled down for sleep before going to meet up with friends the following morning for breakfast. However, we went to the bar before bed where I had 2 gin and tonics and no recollection of anything else that night. I felt fine but I think the travelling and the stress contributed to my hazy recollection of the evening. On the plus side, I slept well!

The next morning we met with our friends who we were going to spend the next 2 days with before they flew home and we went on to Brooklyn. They had sussed out a great diner where we could get breakfast which was opposite Grand Central station so that's where we headed to.

                                                           Blueberry pancakes and maple syrup

                                              Grand Central Station

It was the best!

We enjoyed a super breakfast and had a chat before visiting the station and then heading via the subway to The World Trade Centre memorial and museum. The weather was dull and overcast and it seemed as if everyone in New York had headed for the museum to get out of the drizzle. There were queues everywhere but no system so people were getting a little disgruntled at the lack of organisation. We decided to give the museum a miss but spend time at the memorial site which was very moving and everything that I expected it to be.

Then we walked down to the river and along to catch a ferry across to The Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. I couldn't quite get over seeing the statue in 'real life'! As for Ellis Island...I had no idea what it was about until I got there and I thought it was quite staggering. The records and information stored there about immigration over the years was incredible and I could have stayed there all day.

That evening we caught a cab to a club called Cafe Wha! which was recommended to us. I had put us on the 'guest list' so that we were guaranteed a seat but had no idea what to expect. The cab dropped us off but we were a little early so we were taken down to a club where we had a drink before heading back to Cafe Wha! where it was their funk and soul night. 

We had to queue for a while before being allowed in and we went downstairs to a bar that was heaving with people. The ceiling was low and the walls and ceilings were painted black. The atmosphere was electric. We were sat in a booth and ordered food and drink. Then more and more people came in and our table of 4 became a table of 8. The place was packed to bursting point it seemed.

The house band took to the stage and they really were great. Their voices were superb and everyone was loving it. It's a sign of my age I think that I found the club claustrophobic. We were so tightly packed in there that I just felt a desperate need to get out which was a shame. Our food, when it came, was ok but one of us ordered fish which was not cooked properly when it arrived and was inedible. By the time we were able to get hold of the waiter to tell him we were all a bit past it. It had been a long day so we left at the interval and made our way back to the hotel.

Bright and early the next morning we met up with our friends again and headed off to the diner for breakfast where I had Brioche toast with bacon which was divine.

We set off for 5th Avenue and Central Park but came across a very large gathering of NYPD officers who were waiting for a funeral procession to come past. The funeral was of a NYPD officer who was serving in Afghanistan and who was killed by a suicide bomber earlier in the month. Police were coming from every direction and block after block was being shut to traffic so that the procession could take place without interruption. We waited for about an hour in the end and I am so glad that we did. To see such a show of strength and courage from the police in that city in particular was very powerful.

As the procession came closer to the church where the service was to be held we heard and then saw a band which was coming slowly up the avenue towards us. The band consisted only of drummers who played out a slow beat on their drums as they made their way past the crowd and the row upon row of police who were standing to attention as the hearse drew closer. Behind the drummers came what must have been at least 100 police motorbikes driving along with their lights flashing....

Then it was on to Central Park where were walked to the Dakota building where John Lennon was shot. I was disappointed to find that it was completely covered in scaffolding. We went back into the park and to Strawberry Fields where the Imagine memorial is. I was very, very moved by just being there and I have no idea why. I just felt that I was always meant to have visited that place. Being there made me cry.

We then set off to find a carriage ride which proved to be not as straightforward as you might imagine but which we all really enjoyed and then had a snack at the ice rink.

In the afternoon we went to see The Christmas Spectacular at Radio City. I had heard great reports but had no idea what to expect. I am here to tell you that it was quite brilliant! I don't have any pictures that do it any justice as photos and filming were not allowed but I don't think I have ever seen a production quite so perfect and magical. Suffice to say I was moved to tears again and completely overwhelmed by the experience.

After the show we went for dinner at a steak house called Uncle Jack's. It was fab and we loved it and it was decorated so beautifully for Christmas. That's all I can say about it. We just loved it.

That evening we walked back along 5th Avenue (I think!) and stopped and saw the fantastic light and music display at Saks which I had never heard of but which was amazing....

We had to say goodbye to our pals that night as they had an early flight home the next mornng. We, however, had an early morning trip to the Top of The Rock, the very top of the Rockefeller Plaza. We were amazingly lucky with the weather and the views from up there were spectacular.

After that we made our way back through an already packed Times Square. People were already queuing for entry to the pens where they would stand for 8 hours with a million other people to see in the New Year. I'm afraid it wouldn't be my idea of a fun night and I was relieved that we were leaving the city and the crowds that day and heading for Brooklyn for a night.

We were headed to Brooklyn for our last night to see Jimmy Buffett and his support act Huey Lewis and the News in the New Year's Eve gig. Hubby is a big Jimmy Buffett fan and he had been looking forward to the show for a long time. We checked into our hotel which was a little rough and ready and then made our way to the venue close by via a Mexican bar where we grabbed a pre show beer.

The show was great fun and we had a good night. Lots of singing along and dancing and no drunks to be seen. We saw in the New Year with part of the gig being shown live across USA as part of the televised celebrations and there were balloons and ticker tape aplenty.

We had a late flight home booked the following day which meant that we had most of our last day to have a look around Brooklyn. We walked to the bridge and I took far too many photos as usual.

We did attempt to get to Staten Island but were not able to get there due to a power out and a stalled train on the subway at the very station that we wanted to get to and so we gathered our belongings and made our way to JFK via the subway. We got there with a lot of time to spare and then found that our flight was delayed by 3 and a half hours so we had a very long wait but once on the plane our flight was good and we landed back in wet and windy Great Britain and were back at home by lunchtime.

What an experience we had! I will never forget it. So many memories. Great times with good friends. Sights and iconic images that I never thought that I would actually see were there in front of us. 

Happy New  Year folks!

xxxxxxx